Monday, July 12, 2004

The Ex Files: Seeking Redemption

On this particular day, I'm reminded of my ex-girlfriend because of three things. The first was the fact the color of the day was orange ( her fave color, don't ask ), the sudden reemergance of sex books at National Bookstore ( her fave books, again please don't ask ) and the fact that I saw my former U.P. classmates, who were once close to me.

Flashback 4 years ago, sometime May, where I was forced to leave my home to escape the foul creature spawned from the netherworlds, who used to my one and only true love. Indeed she shed her luminous beauty ( this is debatable...) to reveal her true form, a bloated thing of scales and sharp teeth.

Hmmm, I seem to be getting a little off track here. Anyways, when I left the province for Manila, my reputation sunk so low that it can only be measured by a thermometer, and only during winter season. My ex, "She Who Is Not To Be Named", apparently spreaded sob stories that would make Nazis weep with pity, naming her victim and me as an "Psycho-killer who decapitates babies". One of those stories that came out was that I was working outside to actually pay her the money that I owe her. WTF?!!! It came as the biggest shock of my life, when I first learned of these sob stories. Then it grew worse at each telling, ranging from having a bastard child and even slaving off the Middle East. Hey, I could have expected it since my province is a small one, but it was still a shock...

Everybody hated me. Everybody loathed me. If I stayed there I would have been ostracized and scorned. Good thing I left in a hurry, and would spent the best years of my life in Manila ( although it was a rocky start ). So it was for the better part of the year that no one would even deign to speak to me except for my closest buddies who knew the real score. But I never did try to change the minds of the people, because I know that once they believe something they wish to believe and that is was ingrained in their minds for a long time would only make matters worse for me, hence the silent method. I did say one thing in my defense though, and it was "Believe what you will, but my concience is clean".

Two years passed. I got back, and everything came out of the open. She was tripped up and the truth was revealed. I was pardoned by my batch and who then turned the tables on my ex, may she rot in the yawning abyss of hell. I was not the type to tell stories about her though, seeing that it would just make me a sore winner. So I contended myself to curse her name once in while. Two things I thankful for her though. One is that because of her, I went to Manila and spent the most wonderful years there. Second is that she had made my life interesting, and hence I came out a little wiser and stronger.

The only thing I regretted is that my rep in U.P. is still more or less the same, with the truth slowly coming in like a slug on a steep hill. Every U.P. batchmate I came across were just "excrutiatingly polite", while some are short of spitting me but apprently not doing it, thinking its just a waste their time. There were some few though, that I count as good friends, but to this day, I wish everything would be cleared up. Ah well, if I can wait four years for redemption, then what's another four years, eh?

In any case, whatever happened to me, good and bad, made me what I am today, and that I believed that how bad things get, surviving it and, perhaps more importantly, accepting it, would only make you stronger.

Past is past. No regrets.

State of Mind: Reflective Mood
Song of the Day: Fuck It, I Don't Want You Back by Eamon
Now reading: Silverthorn by Raymond E. Feist
Now watching: Bill and Ted's Awesome Adventure


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