Dude Pare! Music Shuffle Madness! Might and Magic: Warhammer Edition

I got this from the Beijinoy Groups. Read and get a headache after realizing how many people are like this. Then go out and smash something.

Stupid Movie.

Ok pare, was really uber bored kanina so I decided to watch Superman Returns at Glorietta 4. I texted Claude and Jeff but it seemed the two were out na naman. So I called na lang the girl Claude introduced to me at Max Brenner, a couple of weeks ago. We traded number kasi before. Actually, she asked for my number pare. See pare, I'm that hot! Kaya girls are all making kulit to my friends for my number. Her looks is kinda ok naman. The 'pwede na' type. The only problem lang pare is her height. She's like an arm rest lang kasi pare. Pero I'm cool naman with it so ok na.

She replied after five rings with "Who's this?". I was tahimik lang on the other side. Shit talaga pare! Major turnoff talaga! So I made putol na lang the line. I hate kasi burara girls. Obviously she lost the card I gave her at Max Brenner. Sayang talaga pare. I gave her a chance pa naman to be with me and she blew it pa. She's bobo kasi.

Good thing my mom was out kanina so I got the chance to drive for myself without Hilariously Stoopid messing with my aura.

So yun na nga diba? I was like riding on air with my uber bilis driving and it only took me 5 minutes (which would normally take 30 minutes with Hilariously Stoopid driving) from our house to Glorietta. Can't wait na nga for Drag Racing Pinoy to reopen their site kasi I think I belong to that group. I can even do the drift na nga pare while driving pababa at Rufino towers. Eh Rufino is notorious pa naman for having the narrowest parking pababa and paakyat ng floors. Yeah pare, I'm that galing talaga at driving so there's no point na talaga in hiring stupid natives as my driver pa.

I got the last full show at cinema 2 (11 PM)... kasi all the earlier show time were all sold out na pare. So I made tambay na lang at Starbs while enjoying a cup of chino. I made no pansin na lang at the all the loser-poser orcs making lipana around the cinema floor. I made it clear that my seat is far from the masa-crowded timezone which is full of baho natives that time... probably waiting for Superman din. I focused na lang my attention to my cup of chino for the solid caffeine rush. Dami kasing attention-getters sa crowd and they are irritating my aura. Good thing bilis lang mag fly ng oras kanina...

After the movie, I was like really disappointed talaga pare because of the uber daming flaws. I mean, Superman Returns is the year's most stupid movie made for stupid people and I am the one tasked to figure that out. Really disturbing talaga pare...

1. Diba pare, Superman and Lex Luthor were of the same age lang? Diba nga friends pa sila before they became enemies. How come sa movie, Lex was portrayed as matanda na?

2. Correct me if I'm wrong pare pero I dont recall Superman and Lois Lane having sex to produce a child which is hikain pa!

3. Up to now, sumasakit pa rin my brain thinking how come nobody still can't figure out that Clark Kent is Superman provided all the people at Daily Planet are fond of detective work since most of them are journalists/reporters nga. Are they all that stupid talaga or may magic powers lang talaga the eyeglass of superman, rendering him incognito whenever he wears it.

4. What's with the kulot na bangs pare? I mean its pretty obvious naman na straight hair ni Clark sa movie tapos whenever he change into Superman na, the kulot bangs suddenly appear.

5. Superman is gay. Just notice the leg position whenever he lift his feet off the ground. Kadiri pare no?

6. Superman is laging handa pare. because he only needs to make hawi lang his clothes to reveal his costume. I mean, super lambot ba his costume for no one to notice it while at work. Specially the Superman boots which he always wear under his black shoes (?)!. The layered getup must be really init pare.

Now I know where the orcs got their style in layered clothing. Kaya naman I'll bet an arm and a leg that Superman has BO pare.

7. There was an incident sa movie pa where Lois Lane was slammed on the head by the vault's door which was made entirely out of steel. She fell pa nga unconcious sa tubig. The question is, how come she suffered no bukol? Not even minor bleeding pare. Eh it was like very lakas kaya ng pagkaka-slam on her head. Probably she's hard core pare. Internal hemorrhage in the head. Big time!

8. After an earthquake, there should be a big tidal wave. That was missing pare. I anticipated pa naman that part.

Dami pa sana pare.. pero I really have to hit the sack now. It's morning na pala. Basta, I'm giving the movie -10 out of 10 because it sucked... as in major!

Later pare.

T****nang tao na yan! Hulk Smash!

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I got this from from Kim's Karmic Backstab and Romy's Silence in Darkness:

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense. NO CHEATING!
4. Tag 10 people to play this game too.

• How are you feeling today?
Food for the Soul! by Sandwich ( gutom na kasi )

• How do your friends see you?
Rockstar by Nickelback ( yeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaahhhh! )

• Will you get married?
Champange For My Friends, Real Pain For My Sham Friends by Fall Out Boy ( er... )

• What is your best friend's theme song?
Photograph by Nickelback ( Hmmm...yup, pwede )

• What is the story of your life?
Always With You by Jennifer Paige ( er... )

• What was high school like?
The Last Song by The Foo Fighters ( You got to talk, to talk, to get it all out! )

• How can you get ahead in life?
Sync of 8 by Kala ( yup, right now, I'm out of sync )

• What is the best thing about your friends?
Weapon of Choice by Fatboy Slim ( they're like a subtle spiked club )

• What is today going to be like?
Burn Out by Sugerfree ( hay... and tommorow, the next day, the next next day... )

• What is in store for this weekend?
Jeepney by Sponge Cola ( Naalaala ko mga gabing katabi sa ulan )

• What song describes you?
Sober by Jennifer Paige ( Yup, I'll probably never ever gonna drink again )

• To describe your grandparents?
No Ordinary Love By Sade, Urbandub Cover ( True )

• How is your life going?
Weather Forecast by Kala ( mostly stormy and windy )

• What song will they play at your funeral?
Trapo! by Yano ( arrrrgh, grabe naman! )

• How does the world see you?
Chicksilog by Kamikazee ( AYYYYYYIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!! Chicksilog Rockstar!!!! T*****ang game na to!!!!!)

• Will you have a happy life?
Butterfly Carnival by Sandwich ( Because your soul is burning/Time's a turning/ No one stays the same )

• What do your friends really think of you?
Tatlong Araw by Parokya ni Edgar ( Araw ng kalokohan/Aking kinagalakan ... )

• Do people secretly lust after you?
Yellow by Coldplay ( Look at the stars! Look how they shine for you! )

• How can I make myself happy?
Tribute by Tenacious D ( Play the best song in the world ... or I'll eat your soul! )

• What should you do with your life?
Feel So High by Desiree ( If only I can get high...hay...hay... hwwwaaaaaooo )

• Will you ever have children?
By Chance by Sophie Ellis Bextor ( WTF?! )

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For those who are into computer gaming AND warhammer, there's a game out by Ubisoft called Might and Magic. Yep, for some people, this is a familiar game, since it is at it's 5th edition. So why tag warhammer in the game? Cuz some of the characters/npcs/cgi models are so freaking similar to the Warhammer Universe.

Case in point. I only played the game just now, just finished the 2nd map, and I just saw a dark elf riding a dinosaur called a "DARK RIDER" ( ok, in the WFB its supposed to be a Cold One Rider but when I saw it, it was just weird ). Then the next thing I saw confirmed my suspicion: a wood elf weilding two swords called a "Wardancer". Now I don't know about Ubisoft and Games Workshop having an agreement or something, but for gaming's sake at least change the names and tweak the models a little more. So I googled some online pics to see if I was right. And yep, here they are:

This one I haven't encountered yet, but yes, I think that's a Khorne Warrior and a Hellhound.

This one looks to be too Wood Elf-ish for comfort, complete with a Unicorn

And finally we have a High Born Noble with Witch Elf and a Dark Rider at its side.

But I'm not dissing the game. In fact, it's another excellent sequel successor to the previous M&M series, and I use to play M&M3 a lot during my Manila years. But it's just plain weird seeing them here. In any case, I'm still waiting for an Orc or a Goblin to appear, hehehe.

State of Mind: Typical Sunday Blah
Now Listening to: Gemini by Sponge Cola
Now Reading: Knights of the Crown by Roland Green, Dragonlance
Looking for: Wolf Riders!