Friday, October 31, 2003

All Hallows Eve: Morbid Thoughts and Animarathon

All Hallows Eve.

Or, in the bastard tounge, Halloween.

People are now waiting for the stroke of midnight to revel and dance in their homemade costumes, preparing to get drunk in the process of course. And greeting each other a happy holloween.

What's happy about holloween by the way? Well, since it's other common name is Feast of the Dead, and since the by-word there is 'feast', then technically there's supposed to be food, dancing and other stuff that usually goes with it. And that's just the 'living' point of view. What if you're dead? It's supposed to be your party right? But if your dead, you cant actually feast since the food would just go through. Can you imagine the embarresment of a wraith sucking up spagetti and it all ends up the floor? And these kinds of parties tend to be somber state of affairs, unless of course howling banshees are invited.

Getting back though, the purpose of Holloween is to celebrate the dead and proclaiming their honors during the past lives. The tradition was abandoned over the years, or should I politely say, evolved to some degree. Today, people celebrate the dead because they are dead and gave them honors for giving so much to living, which in some cases involve inheritance and other mucho freebies. Pathetic yet true.

Me, I'm gonna hole up the whole weekend here at my room, and finally get to have that much awaited anime marathon. Since the malls and other people places will be closed for the holidays, being prepared on what to do for a couple of days really does wonders. Some people go to beaches and mountains, others go to the cemeteries to pray. While all of that goes on, I'm watching Spike Spiegel kick serious butt in Cowboy Bebop, Kentaro Oe get his butt kicked in Golden Boy and finally watch more butt action with Naru Narusegawa and Urd in Love Hina and Oh My Goddess respectively. Oh, and probably watch Vash the Stampede shoot bad guys in the unedited Trigun Series if I have more time. In a side note, Cartoon Network does not do justice to the Trigun Series, having cut more scenes then the MTRCB. And I won't go into the Neon Evangelion Series, in which CN cut 26 scenes in the FIRST episode alone. So much for freedom of expression.

Hobby Girl asked me out to go to a cafe where she sings in a band last Thursday, but I chickened out, pleading babysitting with my cousins. The real reason is that she already has a boyfriend and she's with her friends whom I don't know any of them. And there's something to be said about men not seeing other women who are attached, and it's called honor, although in some cases blatant stupidity. Anyways, having not to go really sucks inside, though I'm not really sure why. Maybe next time when she asked me again. Take note that she's the one asking, not me, so that gives me a minor precedent of technically getting to see her, even if she has a BF. Now if that was the other way around then it would be a different thing, right? Ah well, when you wait, sometimes the bus arrives to pick you up, though most of the time it just passes you by leaving you freezing in the rut. Story of my life I guess.

State of mind: Blissful Melencholia
Now listening to: Who Needs Love by Incognito
Now reading: Wyrd Sisters by Terry Prachett
Number of anime cd collection: 120+

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

Klatoo... Verata...Nict...ah...ah...ACHOOO!!!!

ASH: Why would you say that I am insane? I wouldn't say that I've lost my mind simply because I've heard the voices and seen the godless things moving in the woods. If anything, I think more clearly now than ever before. I know now that there is such a thing as a living Evil. A dark and shapeless thing that lives not in the spaces we know, but between them. In the Dark. In the night. And it wants the exact same thing as you and I: a chance at warm life on this Earth. It doesn't care that is already had that chance ...once. Now listen closely because there isn't much time. Listen and believe, because it's all true.

Going around today in my favorite music and movie shop, I stumbled upon a lost treasure, one of the best backseat movies. The kind of movie that never got any play because of low publicity or never heard actors and actresses. Some of these great unheard movies include Six Degrees of Seperation, Will Smith's first movie which he did actually well; the Monty Python series, for those with witty humor; Reservoir Dogs by Quentin Tarantino, The Royal Tenenbaums and a lot more. One of these really really great movies is Army of Darkness, the first movie written and directed by Sam Raimi, the guy who did Spiderman. And I found this gem stuck between the shelves, with a 15% discount tag! Wow, more power to the store for giving great stuff at low prices, hehe. For those who are of the silverscreen impaired or most probably not born in the 80's, Army of Darkness is about a man called Ash Campbell, store clerk, single, basically a practical dude and his journey to the medieval ages. Now, this looks like another one of those crappy movies about the dark ages or a Back to the Future rip-off, but it actually isnt. This stuff came out in the 1980's, long before BTTF series and other crappy spin-offs of the former.

What else can I say, I really like old ones. I also like the new movies too, but only those with a really good plot, or even just a witty repartee between the characters.

Speaking of which, have you ever watch Ballistic? The movie where both Antonio Banderas and Lucy Lui starred in? Yeah gads, that gets my vote as the worst movie I ever saw. Plot was non-existant, the action dull and even the dialogue sucks! I still shudder whenever I remember watching that movie till the end, and sometimes I can't sleep at night because of it.

Ok, I was being overdramatic, but it really was a BAAAAAD ass movie. Stay away from it. You have been warned.

Which of course would pique the curiosity of some people and actually watch it. It's your funeral I guess. And I'm hoping as hell that Matrix Revolution would come out nicely, else I'm chucking my popcorn at the screen. Feh...

State of mind: Open to All
Now listening to: Cold Summer Nights by Arnee
Number of times watched Army of Darkness since childhood: 23
Number of times laughed my guts off at the movie: more than a 100

ASH: This is my boomstick. It's a twelve gauge, double barreled Remington pump. Next one of you primitives touch me...

Monday, October 27, 2003

Hamster Reloaded

Good Day.

Let me introduce myself.

I am the Hamster.

Lesser beings call me a god. But let us not quibble over theological ramifications of a rodent messiah.

You have many questions, and although reading my transcripts has altered your conciousness, you remain irrevocably innocent. Ergo, some of the wisdom you will understand, and some of them you will not. Concordantly, while your first reaction may be the pertinent, you may or, perhaps, may not realize it also irrevelant.

My life is the sum of a remainder of an unbalanced equation inherent to programming of the genes, and perhaps a bump to the head. I am the eventuality of an anomaly, which despite my sincerest efforts I have been unable to reconstructure from what is otherwise a disharmony of mathematical precision. While it remains a burden to sedously get rid of it, it is not unexpected, and thus not beyond a measure of self control. Which has led me, inexorably, to write here.

I am not trying to answer life's questions, merely to analyze it and mayhap gain a measure of understanding. Quite interesting in fact, and I find myself quicker then the others.

My life is getting older by the day. I prefer counting from the emergence of one integral anomaly, the sperm, to the emergance of the next, in which in this case is the me.

As a baby, I was designed to be quite perfect, a work of art, flawless, sublime. A triumph equalled only it's inevitability of getting older. It is apparent to me now as a consequence of learning everyday, a human trait. Thus I grew older, redisigned based on history to more accurately reflect the varying grotesqueries of my nature. I have come to understand that since coming to higher level of conciousness requires a sort of offering, a sacrifice if you will. Thus gone were the works of art, gone were the flawless and sublime. Stumbling upon this answer reorganize certain aspects of my psyche. Therefore, the part where...Ouch!!....Yow!!....

(Dull thumping sounds of a head banging on the wall) (An ominous silence, then a hand appears, scrabbling for the keyboard)

I'm back! And it looks like I'm normal again ... well kinda I guess. Matrix Revolution is out by next week, and I'm hype as hell to watch it. After the sequel (crappy plot, though very cool special effects), I'm hoping at least to watch a good ending, not where it just dribbles off, like last time.

Ok, I have a huge lump in my head now, so I think I'll head down to the fridge to get some ice, and possibly some food too. In a while, gonna start jogging, and with a two day rest hiatus, I'm sure my legs will scream and beg for mercy.

Ah well, the price of getting a clean bill of health.

State of mind: Fuzzy Thinking
Now listening to: Pantala Naga Pampa by Dave Matthews Band
Now reading: Queen of the Demonweb Pits by Paul Kidd
Hype level of anticipation for Matrix Revolution: 87%

Friday, October 17, 2003

The Zen of Writing

"Where did you learn to write like this, and where do you get the creative urge?!!", most people would ask me unbelievably. Especially those persons who thought they got me down pat as simple guy with simple pleasures. *Sigh*, I always get underestimated. Why won't people believe that within this large exterior of thine, there lurks a poet of seemly quality? Gives me something to rant about though...

Rant. Yeah, that's probably where it all started I guess. Everybody has their outlet of relaxation, be it a day in the spa, a game of basketball or even a vacation to the hitherlands. Me, I get my jollies by by putting words in paper, or in this case the screen. Hey, don't ask me why. Talking about certain stuff allows me look at the issues an a different angle, or perhaps a different point of view. Ranting and raving about them gives the issues at hand a good drubbin' and, when dried out and hanged, you can look at it in a different light. It's a relaxing way to pass time, and given my innate curiosity of things, I tend take note of a lot of stuff.

While on the subject of writing...

I've always been a writer. The only thing left to do is publish some stuff I've written over the years. But won't happen, probably maybe in 5 years time when I set up my own business and living independently. One thing a writer needs is not peace and quiet, although that comes second, but support from the people who matters to him. Since my family (both extended and immediate) abhor the idea of an writer in the family tree, and think of writing as a dishonest living and a waste of time, my growth as one is somewhat slow and maybe a little stunted. So it came to a pleasant surprise when I opened this little BLOG of mine and finding myself awashed with compliments and suggestions. For this I just wanna say thanks. Keep it coming and more power to you people!

Oh, I'm gonna be busy for a couple of days doing my projects, so I can't probably update during those times. Feel free to leave me comments and other stuff. In fact, make it mandatory, hehe.

State of mind: Really weird warm feelings...yuk
Now listening to: I'm Still Here by John Reznik
Current level of project: 73%
Current level of sleepiness: 80%

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

The Plague is Coming

Damn, no updates today, as I up to my ears with projects. This particular plague seem to affect all students and where very few recover from. Even if they survived, they will have some lasting scars of that event I imagine. I'm gonna shut up now, as I still have a batch of papers to process.

Yeah gads, when will this end?!!

We fail to see
How destructive we can be
Taking without giving back
'Til the damage can be seen
Can you see?

Now listening to: Price to Play by Staind
Current level of project done: 24%
Number of days left till D-Day: 10
Current level of frustation: 85%

Monday, October 13, 2003

Male Bonding and Other Stories

Yeah gads, I totally missed my classes today!! I woke up at around 2pm, and knowing Manila traffic, knew I can't get to my classes on time. Guess that yesterday's family obligation pushed me too far, totally using my reserves. Sheesh...

Well, since I can't go to school, I might as well go to the Hobby Shop and soaked up the ambience...meaning we share "war stories", telling tall tales, expanding lies and stuff. Hey, it's a guy thing. It's what we call "Who pisses the farthest" game and it totally replaces the concept that we genuinely are fond of each other. I noticed that we guys have difficulties expressing the word love to another male guy, while females have it real easy (and provokes certain bad images to the male brain...but I won't go into that). A guy will only say the word love to another guy in only three very rare occasions: To his family, when he is about to die or if he's gay. I'll discount the latter, since it speaks for itself. The first two though, he'll say it in his most gruffest voice, sometimes coupled with jokes or interlaced with insults, with something like "Dude, I'm gonna die today, just wanna tell you I love you man...yeah right!!!" or "I love you, you fucking retarded bastard!!". Hey, that's male bonding right there.

Now, I study in a school where it so uber-liberal that nuns would run screaming if they heard one of our daily sessions. Since we're a relatively small group, nothing is considered below the norm, hence everything is open. First, we have a lesbian classmate who is so bursting with news about her new girlfriend and such, and would proceed in detail the going-ons in their relationship. Wrenching myself from the graphic images she described to us, I noticed that both males and females are intrigued by her stories, though not actually for the same reasons. Males gravitate to the lust part of course, while females take on the technicality of the act, taking note some various factors I can't even imagine. Maybe someday, they'll explain it all to me; I know I'm curious.

That's my one of my failings I guess, I'm curious to the point of obession. At least I get to write stuff about things I find out to digest them more.

Also one of my classmates is our gay president, who is so gay that all he needs is some minor physical adjustments. But he's the "clean/straight" gay, the one you can trust not to take advantage of you. Oh, he's cono as well. Anyways, he also has a boyfriend, and when he gets to talk about the things they do, the males flee the area like scared rabbits. Once, we we're forced to endure one of THOSE experiences he had, where he confided to our female teacher, LOUDLY I might add, about their recent shenanigans. All I could do was clapped my hands to my ears, and hummed loudly the national anthem. I still heard some words though, something like "penetration", "wax" and other stuff I don't care to mention in this lifetime. Still gives me nightmares though. Brrr....

Anyways, to get far from the really distubing images, I'll cut off here and talk about something else. Let's see, after the Hobby Store, I sort of lingered on the Mall, which I don't usually do. I hate crowded malls, which is probably the reason I stay at home during weekends. This day seemed different, as there are less people malling around. Hmm, maybe finally I can get the bookstore all to myself. Well, it wasn't that empty, though there wasn't that many people either. Sighing happily, I found myself a clear spot to read and kill time. Ah, the joys of reading undisturbed.

State of mind: Blissful Nonchalance
Now listening to: Someday by Nickelback
Now reading...again: Polgara the Sorceress by David Eddings
Hours slept: Somewhat over 18 hours

Sunday, October 12, 2003

The Joys of Having No Sleep...Yeah Right!

The next day was band practice, at exactly 9 in the morning. Now, I don't usually wake up before noon during weekends, but sacrifices have to be made if I'm gonna do this thing. So I slept 5am. Which gives me 3 hours of sleep at most. Ah well, let the day begin...

8:45 am. I woke up with a blinding headache that seemed to split my head into two. Struggling towards the bathroom, weariness left me as I was surprised at the reflection of myself. Grotesque would be the exact word. I'm not definately a morning person. Grunting with displeasure, I hurriedly took a bath and put on on some decent clothes. Looking back into the mirror, a little fearfully perhaps, I find myself a little more presentable to the masses, where at least they won't take a second glance. The weird part is my hair which keeps doing the Afro thing even if I combed it several times already. Ah well, at least I'm not going to any balls or parties today. Onward to the practice...

Band practice was nice, I had lots of fun actually, so it's all good. Being the bassist is probably the easist job in the world...unless of course you want get into the limelight and have to struggle with doing extra stuff, like slap, tap and pop. Me? All I can do is keep myself awake. Only the new blisters in my hand kept me alive and kicking; it's hard to play again after so long a period, hence the finger burn. But I'm used to it; in fact I was really expecting it and brought some bandages and stuff.

After practice, had dinner with the drummer's folks and went back home to, of course, sleep.

But fate, it seems, had other plans for me.

Walking home...maybe sleepwalking would be the exact term, I find the house full of my cousins. I totally forgot it was Sunday (noticed I don't pay attention to the days sometimes) and the kids would like to have time with dear Kuya. That's me. The hero. More likely a scapegoat for my dear aunties who needed a much-sought-after-respite from the constant squabbling. And it falls down to me, as the oldest grandson and nephew in the family. Gritting my teeth, and gulping down 3 large cups of coffee, I stumbled to my incipient doom, where a gaggle of kids await THEIR pleasure. Now I have nothing against little kids especially my cousins, in fact I really like playing with them. It's the constant bickering about simple stuff that sometimes set my teeth at the edge.

Boy: Kuya, teach me the code in this game.
Me: Ok, you do it like this...( and proceeded to teach my cousin on how to do it.)
Girl: Kuya, I really need to go to the bathroom.
Me: Wait lang, I'll finish this first in a moment.
Girl: KUYA!!! I WANNA GO NA!! Me: Ok ok, lets go.
Boy: KUYA!!! Don't leave me now!! I might die at this level!!!
Me: Wait lang, I need to take her to the bathroom.
Boy: KUYA!!! I DIED!! It's all your fault!!! I'm telling MOMMY!!WAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
Girl: Kuya, sowee, I made pee pee on the floor, cant hold on kasi eh. *Sniff* *Sniff*......WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH Arrrrrgggghhhh......

Days like this make me wanna join a monastery. Or maybe take up tiger hunting or something. It's relatively easier and safer. But I loved my cousins really, its just the wrong day and the wrong time and the wrong circumstances.

Sometimes, Fate really does cruel things just to tickle his fancy. I sometimes think humorously that I'm a pawn between seven characters (or eight, twin gods yung isa), namely cruel Mr.Fate, sleepy Morpheus, the twin gods Gork and Mork, infamous Lady Luck, Papa Nurgle, perverted Slaneesh and erratic Mother Nature. But that's another story for another time, a funny weird theory of mine. Seeing that sleep is overcoming me by the second, I'll talk about them next time, maybe a basis for a book or novel project of mine. Ah well...

State of Mind: ZZZZZzzzzz...nwork..gwork....ZZZZzzzzz
Now listening to: Silence...beautiful silence
Hours needed to recuperate after this day: 20
Hours needed to.....Zzzzzz.... zwork, growrk, razafraaaaza.....ZZZzzzzz

Saturday, October 11, 2003

The First and Only

Having just finished Dan Abnett's really really excellent novel First and Only, I find myself doing digesting what I just read. Well, the book was about interstellar warfare, coupled with deceit, intrigue and basically lots of people dying. The protagonist, Commisar-Colonel Ibram Gaunt, leads a regiment of soldiers whose world, Tanith, was destroyed and hence making them vagabonds with nowhere to go, except probably to die in some unknown planet. They are ghosts so to speak, taking up the regimental name Tanith 1st, or as some say, Tanith First and Only. Also nicknamed as Gaunt's Ghosts, Ibram led them from one hellish world to another, succeeding in impossible odds, actually making them famous and respected. But their numbers grow smaller every battle; now they are at most only three thousand stong. They are the first, the last and the only ones left of their world.

Desperate men do desperate things they say, but men with nothing to lose achieved more. Thus it is I think the reason why these guys survived. They have no world to come back, no families to attend to yet still went on fighting because their leader, Ibram, saved them several times and more, so it's a form of payment, to give everything you have to the person you owe the most. In this they have a reason to continue on, or at the very least give glory to their lost homeworld.

Hmm, coming back from my reverie, I noticed that the skies have darkened yet again and, as suspected, began to pour a few minutes later. Great, another day of rain. Good thing I have nothing planned for this day, nothing that presses me go outside at least. Sighing at the weather and giving Mother Nature a look, I went back doing what I loved the most, hehe. Reading while eating. Hmmm, I think this is one the reasons I'm chubby even if I walked at least 3 kilometers a day. Everytime I read, there has to be something in my mouth, chewing a burger or gulping down a cola; kinda like a odd behavior of sorts, or idiocranysies if you will. Well, everyone has their quirks.

Now listening to: Filthy by Stephen Speaks
State of Mind: Tired yet Happy (Because I finished a good book)
Hours used to finished First and Only: 16 hours
Weight of food consumed while reading First and Only: 10-20 pounds

Friday, October 10, 2003

Jogging Blues

I have been started jogging since last week now, and I honestly say it's tiring as hell. During my HS days I can run like 10 kilometers without breaking a sweat. Now, running 10 paces is murder to the respiratory system. It's a joy to be getting older eh? The bones crumble and the muscles atrophy, yet the the mind gets sharper. Still, waking up in the dead of morning (4am, really!) and breathing the sweet smell of unpolluted air is really invigorating.

When I jog though, I get this feeling I'm transported to realm of Resident Evil series. I mean the whole place is deserted, like a ghost town. My route usually takes me to Ayala Ave. to Pasay Road and back to De la Rosa St. And it's kinda weird seeing these places empty as a Med Rep's soul ( yes, you people who would sell your own mother just to reach your quota ). So I'm jogging alone, in the middle of the road, passing a occasional sleeping security guard when suddenly I find myself hearing the sound of people. Lots of them by the sound of it. Curious, I drew closer till I saw a bunch of well dressed folks in the process of getting drunker, since they seem to be already well filled with spirits. It was then I realized that I'm near Greenbelt, where the party, for them I guess, never stops. Ah well, everyone of us has their thing, and if you like partying and drinking where in the process destroys your brain cells and eventually kills the brain, then more power to you. God knows there are enough pretentious bastards running around.

Veering back to the silent streets and soaking up the ambience ( and the morning dew of course ), I finally found myself with a fellow morning jogger. The guy is old and is a veteran I think, judging by his marathon attire. I greeted him good morning of course, being a little happy in seeing a kindred soul. What he did is he just grunted and kept on jogging.

Going off board here for a moment. Whatever happened to good manners and right conduct? For example, you are walking around in a mall shopping when some stranger suddenly greets you good morning, evening etc? Don't you greet back? Or you just walk away bewildered and mulling over on who the fuck that was who greeted you? Or do you reply kindly? Sadly, the latter option never occurs to most people. And here's the thing. When a foreigner greets us brown skinned people we automatically reply with good nature. What da fuck? Why do we have to be polite to the white skinned dogs and not polite to out own people? Did they do us a favor or something? Another thing is when you greet a filipino stranger good day, he or more especially a she gives you a look and totally assumes that you have bad manners ...

... ... ... ... ...

Ok, I promise not swear again but the fact that saying good day is a breach of ettiquete and really bad conduct. I don't really get it. Has civilization evolved so much that right becomes left all the sudden? Sheesh...

Sometimes, you just to take life as you find it.

Weird as it seems.

State of mind: Confused Belligerance
Music to go by when jogging: Low Rider by ZZ Top
Number of security guards seen sleeping in 1 day: 12
Number of times I had to retie my shoelaces while jogging: 9

Dog Tired

Whew, I'm tired to the bone. The day started innocently enough when the clouds suddenly bunch together to do a simple thuderstorm. Now this is Friday night, and I'm usually dressed up and I find myself walking in mud and water. Oh well...Life's a bitch sometimes.

Did my project and stuff, then went on to defend my proposed outline to a trio of blood sucking...este... very vigorous teachers. Life becomes a little more bitchy.

Went to the Hobby Store today and did as we planned, although Glenn back out at the last minute. Which means a three way bash between me, Alex and Kim. Hmmm, I came out close second, I could have won actually but hey, maybe next week since we decided it will just a preliminary for the Four Way Mania. Life at this point mellows down, thank God!!

After the game, watched American Pie 3, which I think is cool although its kinda weird without Mena Suvari and that guy she usually partners with. My thoughts? Not actually a Junk Food movie, it had some nice philosophical touches, that is if you get past the cursing and double meaning. Life now needs a lot of rest, whew...

I'm really tired so I'll mosy down my beloved bed and sleep.

State of Mind: Fuzzy and Light Headed

Dog Tired

Whew, I'm tired to the bone. The day started innocently enough when the clouds suddenly bunch together to do a simple thuderstorm. Now this is Friday night, and I'm usually dressed up and I find myself walking in mud and water. Oh well...Life's a bitch sometimes.

Did my project and stuff, then went on to defend my proposed outline to a trio of blood sucking...este... very vigorous teachers. Life becomes a little more bitchy.

Went to the Hobby Store today and did as we planned, although Glenn back out at the last minute. Which means a three way bash between me, Alex and Kim. Hmmm, I came out close second, I could have won actually but hey, maybe next week since we decided it will just a preliminary for the Four Way Mania. Life at this point mellows down, thank God!!

After the game, watched American Pie 3, which I think is cool although its kinda weird without Mena Suvari and that guy she usually partners with. My thoughts? Not actually a Junk Food movie, it had some nice philosophical touches, that is if you get past the cursing and double meaning. Life now needs a lot of rest, whew...

I'm really tired so I'll mosy down my beloved bed and sleep.

State of Mind: Fuzzy and Light Headed

Everything is Falling into Place, Which Means Something Must Be Wrong

Arrrrgh!! I can't freakin write well when there's a lot of stuff hanging on my head that needs immediate attention. Add to the fact I had to pick up the Siren Sisters at the airport, I'm so downtrodden now I make roadkill look nice. Sheesh...

The Siren Sisters. Ah, everything is coming into place, as they agreed to be the vocals of our band again when I come back to the province. We go way way back, from the start actually with Guitar Dude. Now, bringing back the band from the grave is some sort of weird reunion, since we stop being a group last 6 years ago. I'm thinking that Mr. Fate had something to do with this, so I'll try to tread softly. Anyways, the Fourth Siren had a school thingy here in Manila, hence the reason of her coming here. The Second Siren works here in Manila and is also coming back next year to start over a new job(Hmmm, Fate smells bad this time).

There are 6 Sirens, all sisters, although only the 2nd, 4th and 5th regularly joined us those past years ago (the others helped during major events). They are powerful vocalists, with me and Guitar Dude taking care of the guitars and bass respectively. The last member of our little group is our drummer, who Guitar Dude laugingly calls Kartonista. Not because he's a artist or such but he lifts crates and kartons as a side job. Get it? Sometimes, I wonder at the Dude's sense of humor.

There's so many coincidences these week that I fear I'm going clairvoyant or crazy, probably both. Ah well, as they say, ignorance is bliss, so I'll try to ignore them...unless I see an advantage of course, hehe.

Anyways, I'm gonna shut up now as the hounds of paperwork are after me.

Now listening to: Power of Two by Indigo Girls
Now reading: Soul Music by Terry Pratchett
State of mind: Haggard
Current level of project: 58%

Thursday, October 09, 2003

The Play's The Thing

Hmmm, am now starting to write the play, and I can say its one of the most frustating projects I've undertaken. You can't tell the audience how one feels, you have to be able to convey it in a sentence that would speak volumes. While I like lenghty diatribes and discussions, to be able to convey your feelings is a neat trick, and my respect for the old codgers like Shakespeare goes up a notch, maybe even two. Ah well, maybe I'll take on a partner to help me produce this play. This needs to be finished by the end of the month, and I'm a little pressed for time now. I'm basing this on several movies and perhaps a dozen books so I can it finished real quick. Oh well, we'll see how this turns out.

This afternoon is the day for the Orchish Horde to strut their stuff, unless of course everthing goes wrong and get myself eliminated in the race. The players for today's Mega-battle would be Kim, Alex and Glen, very tough opponents indeed. Hmm,I think my magic heavy list would be both a powerful asset and a risky choice, rather then go for the passive bashy list. Still, that's the life of an orc, I guess.

Now reading: First and Only by Dan Abnett
Now listening to: Black Balloon by Goo Goo Dolls
State of Mind: Tired yet frenzied at the same time
No. of paper used and discarded when making the play: 43

Wednesday, October 08, 2003

The Ultra Cool, the Very Hot and the Grouch

The air is super cool outside, with the hint of sweet rain and light winds. The people, cooled by the weather, began to be more polite and even greet each other slight nods and small smiles. Truly, moods are gauge by how hot or cold the weather is here in the tropics.


I'm stuck here in my room where there's a perpetual heat wave going on. Probably why I'm so cranky everytime I'm writing this. I'm usually amiable outside, even downright friendly, but here at my room I'm a denizen of Hell, making wisecracks of the foibles of mankind. Such is the level of hotness in my room, as other poor people who slept the night over will testify.

I finally made contact with the girl I met at the Hobby store, and I can say I'm still impressed by the way the she talk about intellectual stuff. My mind was doing cartwheels and handstands in the joy of finally meeting someone who can actually speak words with more then three syllables, and discuss them like a concert maestro. Too bad she already has a boyfriend. Ah well, Life always deals me a joker card. Oh well, at very least, I have a new friend...yeah right, like I'm happy and all. Still...

I was just guessing
At numbers and figures
Pulling your puzzles apart
Questions of science Science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

Now listening to/Song for Hobby Girl: The Scientist by Coldplay
State of mind: Shattered Delusions
Room temperature: 47 degrees
Level of grouchiness: 73%

Tuesday, October 07, 2003

Melencholial Me

Ok, I just got back from a bowling session. Bowling is a weird sport when I play it, cuz I can actually feel my tummy do yoga whenever I released the ball, rotating here and there. And for that reason I end up in a weird angle, the one not seen in any bowling handbook but possibly in a funny comic book. But what the hell, I had lotsa fun.

But that fun turned into a sad note as one of my close friends is leaving the next day for UAE, staying there for at least 2 years. What really sucks is that I can see myself in her position. I'm also leaving in three months, and it also hard for me to leave everthing here. I guess it takes certain kind of courage to do it. Me? I might decide to fall my sword first before I leave.

Ok, that was too melodramatic, but hey, melencholia starts to creep up upon me everyday, in little doses. I will MISS a lot of things. Living and breathing here in Manila is the source of my life, and attempting to do what I plan will amount to somewhat akin to wrenching your heart out.

Ah, well, lets leave out that emotion for now. I noticed that dwelling on a depressing event tends to take you in a black mood. Let me concentrate for now. As they say, live for today, not for tommorow nor yesterday.

Friday is big mega battle between half the races in Warhammer, with High Elves, Undead, Orcs, Lizardmen, Bretonnians, Chaos and Empire clashing in one huge table and will generally try to stab everybody in the back. I will try to fend off the everybody of course, living to fluff that Orcs don't make alliances with nobody. Which will be the death of me of course. Oh well, another entry for my journal I guess.

Managing a band is tough, and it's not like any business enterprise. First you don't deal with products, you deal with people. And you have to be careful with their egos. And you have to set up regular practices and gigs. Why take this job? Well, the sheer fun is so high you actually see stars, that is if you get your shit together. Being the extrovert that I am, feeding off the crowd's pleasure is a normal activity for me.

The days of actually getting my own website is becoming more and more possible, but I'm thinking of waiting for the day I'm leaving for Iloilo, so that Dad's company will actually pay for it. Hmmm, might as well buy the new figs, hehe.

Radio Station: Magic 89.9 Fm
Now listening to: This is My World by Darius Rucker
Bowling Score: 94; 2 lucky strikes
After all this, money in pocket left: 8 pesos and 75 cents.

Monday, October 06, 2003

Things To Do Before I Leave

As the December Tourneys draw nearer and nearer, my time is now concentrated more on painting my figs, hoping at least to get a passable nod from the masters. Being that this would be my last tourney, I trying very hard to get my army up and ready. I wouldn't be actually writing right if my hands weren't so shaky from a frenzied painting session. I'm probably gonna be so busy this last 3 months as I have a band to set up, a play to produce, a tourney to join and of course a school to graduate. Lots of stuff to do, and writing here presents a vent for my exhaustation. I'm bone tired yet now I'm still going and going like one of those battery commecials. To wit, here are the things I must do before I leave.

1. Get the band set up to actually join the MetroCon this December. As I'm the acting manager/bass player, I do not wish to disappoint my bandmates if I falter now.

2. Stage a play for the benefit of the community. I've been thinking about it a lot, and what way to leave with a bang, eh? Besides, I did promise the other guys who I do my community work with that I'll do something special this Christmas Party, though I'm not sure if I'm still here. Oh well...

3. Get my act together and finally paint at least 300 models in preparation for a bunch of tourneys. At the rate I'm going, I'm painting 10 models per day. I'm no great painter, but I'm hoping at least my Orcs would finally have shiny armor, not just black paint, and my tanks have thier camo scheme done, not just brown desert crap.

4. Watch LoTR: The Return of the King here!!! Damn, I hate watching in the province, I want to be astounded by the cool sounds and sheer clear screen in a posh movie house. A fan of J.R.R. Tolkien would deserved as such.

5. Get my thesis finished this year, as I have been doing for the past 6 months. Gods, I really hate my school. The politics there rival the Greek Empire. Make the wrong move and you get caught up in a red tape so thick you'd look like a wrapped red taco. Sheesh....

6. Lose weight I must. Small is 30 pounds. There is no try. Do I must. The force I must remember. Delusioning myself I am.

7. Buy enough books to keep me occupied for the next half decade. Being that I'm gonna be stuck in a provincial town and limited books at my grasp, I must possess enough money to actually buy Powerbooks™ itself. How do I do that? Well, I could win the lottery, rob a bank or kidnap the President. Besides, Madam Gloria is so small I could actually pick her up and put her in my size 40 jean's pocket. The Philippines has a lot of firsts in the world but we actually have the 1st Pokemon President! Madam Gloria, I choose you!!!

8. Get enough guts to choose from one the girls I like. At the very least, if she likes me back then I really have an excuse to come back here in Manila. No guts, no glory.

9. Indulge myself in a tour of Manila, in the process possibly torturing myself by going to places I will miss so much. To that end, I will take pictures of me in those places, also continuing my masochistic torture whenever I look into those pictures and reminisce when I'm the province.

10. Finally compose a scrapbook to at least remind me of my sojourn here in Manic Manila, so I'll always remember the smell of garbage in the morning, the crowded streets of Ayala, the air pollution during rush hour, the bumper to bumper traffic, the tall skyscrapers where Manila's rich and powerful contemplate on how to gouge to country more, the coffee shops and bars where the elitist bastards congregate with their worthless existance. Ah yes, I'm, definately going to miss those.

I'm a weird mood writing this. I'm not usually this cranky before my caffeine must be the chocolates I ate. Hmm, oh well, till next time I guess.

Book of the Week: The Redemption of Althalus by David Eddings
Movie of the Month: Underworld
Caffeine Fix: Rhumba Frappucino with extra power
How many models painted before writing: 10 models, 4 walkers, 1 tank
How many models left unpainted?: 250+ models, 5 tanks, 4 chariots and so on...

Sunday, October 05, 2003

The Kuya Factor Again

Last night was Saturday night, and I was in the GK777 concert with my barkada. It was a fun night and , maybe shameless of me perhaps, take a perverted pleasure at looks directed at us for the reason I'm in the company with a group of beautiful ladies...who of course all call me Kuya. Still, it was a fun night, with the acoustic performers Nina, Nyoy Volante and Jimmy Bondoc capping off the evening, or should I say early morning, into a kind of blissful satisfaction.

Hmm, I guess one of the memorable things that happened in the concert where a dear sister took my hand, hugged my arm, looked into my eyes ... and proceeded to me tell me her problems. Things haven't changed. I could say this is unfair and maybe scream like hell but then I remembered something I read where a young king complained why is it always him the world is depending and his aunt told him in nonplussed tones "Who do you think is more suited to do the job? You could act like a king or like a spoiled boy, take your pick. Because like it or not this is way we are."


Ok, I'm less sore that people think of me as a giant teddy bear/listening post. It's not that I don't take pleasure in helping others even just by listening, it's just that sometimes I get tanked up with their various problems there's no more place to consider mine. It's the way I am I guess. I may be a tireless windbag but hey, I'm your friend for life if you'll take me.

Concert time: 7pm-2am
Number of friends counselled during the concert: 4
Number of hours spent in counselling: 3 hours

Friday, October 03, 2003

It's Not How You Think or Speak, It's What You're Wearing...

Hmm, got out of bed and looked outside. Wow, no rain! I stretched out my hand outside my window. Cool, not even warm!!! Wait...does this bode bad tidings?!! Ah, well...we'll find out soon enough I guess.

Since today is Friday, I usually dress up to be marginally presentable to the Friday Night Crowd. While being used to be in a university where wearing your pajamas while attending your classes is the norm, my wardrobe consist solely of shorts, t-shirts and maybe one or two polo shirts. After being snatch up and dumped unceremoniously here in Manila, I find myself in need of a new wardrobe, since the elitist bastards here don't take you seriously if you're dressed like a hillbilly. Look at certain groups like rockheads, skater dudes, hiphop people, weird artistic assholes etc. They at least get respect no matter how they dressed, even if it's so out of this world. It must be the groupie factor. If you're part of that minority group, it at least gives you an excuse to dressed up like a bum and maybe pierced yourself with earrings all over your body. Yet, this different minorities still get respect, even if it's from fear, awe, or certain courage to be what you are. The only minority that's so ostracized is the "probinsyanos" or in plain english, the hillbillies. Being a true probinsyano myself, I actually experienced firsthand those misguided misconceptions about my life as one. Which one reason I really hate elitist people, cuz they categorize you as "one of those guys from the mountains", which is naive, stupid and have no class.

Ah well, I guess that world needs to be peopled with such high opinions of themselves. At least gives me a reason to write stuff about.

Wednesday, October 01, 2003

Come Crash into Me...

I woke up to the sudden booming of thunder and and crackle of lightning. Yet another day of typical Philippine weather. I tell ya, our weather stations have the reputation of the being the most reliable ones in the world. They only have three reports: Very Hot, Rainy and, at certain seasons, Typoon. As typical of this region's weather, after struggling to suit up for a wet day in the rain, the clouds parted to reveal the sun mocking at the pathetic efforts of mankind. Damn Mother Nature and her games.

Hmm, I finally scrounged up the courage to at least send a text message to the girl I met at the store. Something in the lines of maybe getting together and having a cup of coffee. Much to my disappointment and relief she didn't texted back. It's better to imagine she's busy or had no load then to dread to see her message. Will she accept my offer? Will she call up her bodyguards to beat the crap out of me? Oh well, we'll just see and tommorrow's another day and maybe I'll scrounge up enough courage to call her personally.

Today is the first day of the month and I got my monthly allowance from home. By some sort of divine inspiration, I detoured not into a bookstore but into a music shop. Imagine to amazement they actually had the very rare Dave Matthews Band live albums, the one in Chicago and another in New Jersey. Without any thought of possible future repurcussions, I immediately bought the cds and headed straight to the cashier, with a silly grin on my place.
Much later, I found out they cost a helluva lot and find myself without extra money for two weeks. Damn, back to bread and water.

The Helm's Deep game has cancelled, and moved to end of November. This Friday we'll be re-enacting that scenario of the Seven Knights, wherein there are seven suicidal knights against a horde of enemies. The Famous Last Stand as we like to term it. It's me with the horde, of course against seven crusader elves. Hmmm, this might be interesting after all.

Now listening to: Dave Matthews, Live in Chicago
Song Title: Crash into me
Number of times listened to this cd since buying:
10 times

Oh I watch you there
through the window
And I stare at you
You wear nothing but you
wear it so well
tied up and twisted
the way I'd like to be
For you, for me, come crash
into me