Saturday, July 31, 2004

Day Of Burial

Today was Venus' burial, may she rest forever peacefully. I came in late, because of work and all, but at least I got to hear the proceedings and stuff. Everyone was there, both batches from '93 and '97. Sad, yet we had to move on, and include Venus' in our prayers.

After the burial, the batch walked a little away from the site so we could catch up with news and stuff. There's talk going on about a reunion of sorts, this time for batch '93. Everyone wanted to have it done; everyone didn't want the responsibility of looking into. In the end, I guess I sorta volunteered ( more likely dragooned ) along with Eujav, our resident satellite dish for batch news and rumours. The tentative plan is to have it next year; one reason is I'm not here since I'm leaving, and second of all of the people's schedule. When is everyone available, that is the question. In truth, everyone wanted it to be this year, but I pointed out if they wanted it this year, they better get the Bitch Princess ( guess who! ) to arrange it, which was hastily discarded. Better next year then some weird cock-up party....

Oh yeah, I never thought I would be mistaken for a priest! Dammit, must be the bulge down there, or perhaps the face of total innocence ( blech... ) What happened is that I was surprised that everyone greeted a tad bit politely, until I heard the words "Good Afternoon Father". Yeah gads, now that was a shock. Venus' mother came straight away and explained laughingly that I was not the priest, but just a classmate of her daughter! Now everyone was laughing, I myself was red in the face. A light moment in the midst of sorrow, which gladly happened at my expense...I think.

Tommorow is the first day of August, and its just one month for three special events. One is that the China Trip is getting nearer day by day, and I can't wait to leave and soak up some culture. Second is that by September 12, I'll be turning one year in writing this blog! Wow! Where did the time go suddenly? And lastly on August 28, is Ice Lady's birthday. Hmmmm, should I go to Manila? Only time will tell...

My hamster sense is telling me that next month will be a good month, one with surprises ( which I hope will be good ) and good fortune. Too bad I'll be very busy to enjoy it...

Hay naku...

State of Mind: Planning Mode On
Song of the Day: Itsumo by Dice and K9 ( yeah, so sue me...)
Now Reading: JLA:Tower of Babel, DC Comics
Now Playing: Final Fantasy X

Friday, July 30, 2004

The Ex Files: Revelations At The Wake

Just got back from last day of Venus' wake; her burial is tommorow, 3 pm, at Forest Lake.This night has soemthing of a revelation to me, which I'll talk about in while. But first...

Mass started at around 7pm, to honor Venus. Whenever I go to Mass, I usually opt to go to churches that cater to English or Tagalog sermons, the latter I've learned and came to appreciate when I spent my four years in Manila.

Flashback time. I remember coming home for Christmas and attending Misa de Gallo, which I went to religiously like an inmate at death row. For unenlightened, Misa de Gallo is a Mass that reenacts the birth of Christ, from the sign of the star up to the point of birth. If I remember correctly, its usually 9 days of waking up early at the dead of morning to attend Mass along with other sleepwalkers and wishing hopefuls. There's a legend, or myth if you will, that if you complete the Misa de Gallo without fail, you can have one wish granted as a sign of your faith, sanctity or, more often, perseverance.

So, when I got back here at the province, I wanted to complete the sessions I already did at Manila. I woke up early, got the church at our place, and to my horror, I couldn't understand a damn thing being said. I mean, yeah, I'm an Illongo, I speak Illongo and hell, even do things the Illongo way ( which means being practical yet gracious, critical yet malambing ) But the language spoken in the church was more deep, more tribal and if I guess right, older than my grandfather's underwear. I didn't understood a word spoken, hence the sermon was lost on me, like wind blowing away the answers. Goodbye nine mornings of sacrifice...

Anyways, Venus' Mass was something in that nature. Deep down Illongo with a touch of English, which I'm grateful for else I lost all understanding. The Nicene Creed I said in English, as well as "Holy Holy Holy" and the mysteries of Christ. Say what you will about us Catholics, but we are very religious and faithful. Even if its another language, we try to compensate on what we know already. That's why most Catholics already memorize the sequences; its been taught to us ever since we were wee kids. It doesn't matter is its another language, the imporatant thing is that if don't understand, you do it your way and listening to the sermon. Everything else is just rituals and tradition.

After Mass, it was like a reunion again, this time with different people. I got into talking with The Conductress, and the topic turned suddenly to my ex, She Who Devours Souls On A Daily Basis. The question was if there was a chance I could forgive her.

ME!!!! Forgive the Eater of Suns and Despoiler of Moons?!!!

Well, actually, I've been thinking about it for a while, going chug-chugging in the back of my head. Forgiveness? Hmmm, maybe. Perhaps. Check back on me after a couple of years and we'll see. But I do feel pity. Thinking about this now has realigned my decision that I should talk to her, and if possible, put everything on the table and sort out what happened during those years. The stories, the lies, everything. Wishful thinking, yes, but for now, I think talking to her first is the first logical step. While the rift between us will never heal, it doesn't hurt to open lines of communication and, ultimately, uncover the truth.

Hmmm, I do need to think on this more. Tommorow is the burial of our classmate, and everybody is going to be there. Better get all their contact numbers, or friendster accounts to keep each other in touch. I hope we don't drift apart after all this...
But for tommorow, we bury one of our own...

State of Mind: Flurry of Thoughts
Song of the Day: Something About You by Five For Fighting ( I can't keep this song out of my head!!! )
Now Reading: Tear of the Gods by Raymond E. Feist
Wishing For: A whole day of sleep...

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Going Catty

After nearly a grueling week of extra duties, product presentations and other what-have-you's, I find myself finally in the clear and with an evening to enjoy. So I went to the gym for two hours of sweating out the memories of the week and watched a movie with best bud Pringles.
I was supposed to watch Arthur, but she opted for Catwoman and, well what can I say? Hmmm, at least its better than nothing...

Catwoman apparently appeals to female of the species. It has traces of feminity all around it, and while even some males will enjoy it, my take is that its just another so-so movie. Well, yeah, you might argue that Halle Berry rocks ( complete with the leather and whips....Ooh, S&M fetish anyone? ) and Sharon Stone is just too gorgeous to behold, the whole story arc is kinda iffy. That is probably the geek inside of me ranting, but hey, I did feel a little let down.

While DC Comics did acknowledge the movie, the whole plot, story and origin is just pure hogwash ( this is based on the comicbook storyline ). The City in the movie doesn't look like Gotham City, if indeed it was Gotham, as the place would give anyone the creeps, being a dark and foreboding city. And while I have no qualms about skin color, even abhor racists, Catwoman should have been white, just like in the comics. I can understand that The Kingpin in Daredevil was black since he's like the only big actor to fit the role ( damn, cant seem to place his name for the moment...), but sometimes fitting through the story arc is the key.

All in all though, it was a nice movie, with special effects and stuff, and Halle Berry does seem to fit nicely in her role, catwalks and stuff. It won't be for hardcore comic lovers out there, but the general patronage could enjoy it, even without the benefit of comic book background.
If there was one thing I would like to know though, is who was that babe who played the nurse during the hospital wheelchair scene. Now that was one cute girl, hehe...

State of Mind: Tired...
Song of the Day: Songs from the Blue Room Album
Now Reading: T3 Magazine, July Issue
Catwoman Movie Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

Sunday, July 25, 2004

Humanity: What Its Like?

Having said that the updates would continue on Monday, I find myself in front of the PC, writing. The plan was to have an overnight vigil last Saturday, which didn't happen, and also a sleep test at a hospital this night, which obviously didn't happen either, because of a new schedule. This is a testament of my life; everytime I make plans, even those with 99.99% chance of happening, something goes awry and wrecks the whole thing apart. I've been wondering why it always happen to me...maybe its just my luck or, God forbid, a curse of sorts.
This is probably the reason I always make plans on the fly, else they fly apart from me.

The vigil/reunion went well actually, with lots of people from both the batch '93 ( elemtary ) and '97 ( high school ). If there was one good thing that came out of Venus' wake, is that she brought the classmates together. Never had everyone, especially the elemtary batch had a chance to get together and gossip. Central to the talks was a reunion in the making, perhaps next year. Like I said, it was a bittersweet reunion.

Before I went to the wake, I watched Will Smith's "I,Robot" with my close friend Pringles. And I have to give props to the movie, doing an impressive translation to Isaac Asimov's moving Sci-Fi series. Hmmm, now I sound like Randy Jackson from American Idol. Anyways, Isaac Asimov did to the Sci-Fi genre what J.R.R. Tolkien did to fantasy; they set the standards for what each genre should be. They are, literally and figuratively, giants in their own right.

The movie basically deals what the book ( of the same name, by I. Asimov ) proposes, if a thing can think, feel and have human-like traits, can they be considered a living thing, even going as far as calling them human? In Asimov's book ( Being a bibliogist, I now only need his rare books to complete my collection, hehe ), the robots revolted against humanity since, logically, human beings can't take care of themselves, just like the movie protrayed, but in the book, the robots won and humanity took a while to overcome them ( series of novels ). Come to think of it, this is also what the Wachowski brothers tried to portray in Matrix: Revolution. Robots taking over the world. Brrrr....

While most of the population would consider "I, Robot" to be an action film, what with the fast paced plot and the special effects, I myself think of it as a movie laced with a tinge of dark foreboding. Try to go beyond the movie, let's say fast forward to the year of 2035 ( "I, Robot"'s date setting ), where robots number as many as 3/5ths of the numan population and taking over jobs and duties. Humans would grow lax and indifferent, trusting their lives to their "slaves", and since robots don't have feelings, the relationship of master and servant is pretty much ideal. What if a bug occured in the master system then, or worst yet, an "logical" choice presented itself to the mainframe that humans are useless, just like in the movie. Wouldn't that cause a disaster of mass proportions?

The main thing to consider is control, and its opposite, freedom. These things need to be balanced, and to certain degree. How much is uncertain at these time, but when the shit hits the fan in the future, I do hope we can recover enough to rectify it.

But I did enjoy the movie, with Will Smith just exact for the role of Del Spooner. One last trivia: While it's based on the book, or series of books, there was also a detective that was investigating a homicide. The dead guy, you guessed it, was also an roboticist. The difference is that the detective, Elijah Bailey, was teamed up with a robot, and was not hunting one. Both Bailey and Spooner hate robots with a passion, but in the end their perpectives changed.

Nevertheless, the movie does raises questions about our future. Will we basked in the glory of mankind, hence paving the path for our destrcution, as per the message of the Wachowski's Matrix. Or will we balanced things out just like "I, Robot", with little or minor difficulties.
In any case, when I build my home, I going to draw out a plan for a bomb shelter. If it's unused, it makes for a good wine celler, hehe.

State of Mind: Full of Theories
Song of the Day: Limang Dipang Tao by Barbie's Cradle
Now Reading Robots and Empire by Isaac Asimov
Sunday Gameday Stats: 6 points, 10 rebounds and 5 assists...slow day today with only 15+ players...

Thursday, July 22, 2004

Men and Shopping: A Total Myth

I'm too tired to think...working overtime does that to you. So I'll just ramble the highlights of what happened today...

Still no sign of my ex, She Who Looks Like One Big Lumpy Balloon. Maybe I will get to see her this coming Monday. Maybe she did see me and will never come back. Ah well...

Due to insistant family demand ( more appropraitely, I was shouted and nagged ) , I have to take a medical exam not because of a virulent disease or even a plague, but because I snore. Loudly. Like a thunder foretelling the end of the world. Whatever. So this coming Sunday, I'll be taking my sleep test, to determine that if a. I have some sort of sleep disorder, b. I'm perfectly healthy even if I have a fat ass or c. during the course of the testing, inadvertedly discover the meaning of life. Hmmm....

My cousin texted me this afternoon out of the blue, basically asking some questions on men and shopping. Yeah right, as if those two go together like milk and cookies. Speaking for the whole of dickdom ( perhaps three-fourths; excepting gays, bi's, metrosexuals and other what-have-you's...), we men usually shop a single item in just under 15 minutes. Women generally take longer, around 2 to 3 hours, and that's just comparing two items, agonizing which one to buy, looking at all sides of the issue ( from practicality to fashion ) and in the end, decides to buy both items. This is the part that's lost on the men, and I still don't understood why women torture themselves. Do they have a streak of masochism? Another weird fact is the effect of salesday on females. They don't buy the item in question because its too pricey, yet when saleday comes, they buy vast quantities in bulk that exceed two or even three times the original price. Maybe in the backs of their minds, they are more into wholesale then retail. Which bring me to the next issue.

Women are fanatics to certain items, usually clothes, shoes and bags. They will buy a bag/dress/sandals just for that certain day, then will not wear it for a long time. My point is that if you agonize over the price, which is practical, practically goes out of the window if you use it only for one/two/three times a year. Men, on footwear, generally have three pairs of shoes: everyday shoes, sports shoes and shoes for special occasion. And that....

Nah, I'm tired of rambling the age-old question of women and their peculiarities. Perhaps I'll finish this next week, after my sleep exam.

Tommorow is the batch vigil for Venus, our dearly departed classmate. We are going on full strength to show our support and love for her and her family, and this will probably turn into a bittersweet reunion. It sucks that we have to meet in such sorrow...
No updates tommorow and Sunday, busy weekends on the go. Must have reserve energies recharged and online. See you Monday.

State of Mind: Dead Tired
Song of the Day: Friday I'm in Love by The Cure ( make a guess, hehe )Now Reading: Krondor the Betrayal by Raymond E. Feist
Wishing for: A chance to settle down for a while...

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Sorrow and Wonderment

A high school classmate of ours died today of brain cancer, and this marks as somewhat of a turning point to of us in our batch. One of these is that we our not getting any younger, we need to enjoy life more. Corollary to this is that in order to enjoy life, you need to slave off some moolah for some years. So either way, me and my batch, and all the people for that matter, will always get screwed.

Except of course the elitists, sons and daughters of corrupt politicians, millionaires, leaders of religious fanatics groups, lawyers, and other kinds of people that usually fall in that bracket. To them I say fuck you all.

And yeah while I admit to being well off, perhaps rich even, but I slave my butt off for that money. And I never try to rise above the masses current level, content to be just one of the crowd. Anonymity does have its perks, and I always strive to achieve that, hard as it seems, considering I'm a gadget freak. Hmmmm, in retrospect, I always seem to be more comfortable with the lower to mid level classes of people than the higher ones. Maybe its because they make more sense than them...

Speaking of work, I now work 8 in the morning up to 10 in the evening, all because I need to stay in the office to supervise ( actually, to watch over ) the showroom construction. Its times like these that I stare at nothing and wonder where the heck I'm going to, figuratively speaking of course. It's true that they say that too much time in your hands will just drive you crazy with despair. Me, I haven't reached that part yet, am somewhere in the thin line of deep contemplation and utter boredom.

For the first time in 6 months, I took out my guitar and played a few riffs. I'm going to need my skills soon, since I plan to play songs at the wake of our ex-classmate. The batch planned to have a vigil in three days, which is on Saturday, and I need to practice to get the jive back. Hopefully, when I perform, I won't sound rusty...

For the better part of the week, I haven't seen my ex, the Devourer of Men, Eater of Souls. Perhaps she did see me and never came back; or maybe she's called in reinforcements and will return soon. In this case, I got to prepare myself.

God willing, this will blow over soon....

State of Mind: Tired...very tired....
Song of the Day: Sweet Steps by Junction 18
Now Reading: Sun Tzu's Art of War
Exhaustion Level:89% and lowering...

Monday, July 19, 2004

The Ex Files: Close Encounters Of The Second Kind!!!

The first usually entails a sighting of some sort, while the third means complete contact and communication. The second shows evidence of some sort, and yikes, I wasn't expecting anything like that this day.

The day started normally, boring as hell with some sporadic outbreaks of customers rushing inside to buy something, then rush out to leave. Pretty like the same day everyday.
After work, me and my bro headed out to the gym to sweat out, and horrors of horrors, when we just entered the room, I think I just saw "She Who Is Not To Be Named" going outside. Damnation, all this work must be giving me weird horrific hallucinations. There was no possible way that I just saw my ex. She didn't see me, so I really thought I was just imagining things. But abject curiosity held sway over me, and I trudged to the members log book and found out to my utter dismay that it was really my ex, and she was also working out in the gym. MY GYM!!!

Okay, keep calm, I told myself. There has to be a way to avoid the Beast of Lies and Deception. After some frenzied info-gathering, this is what I know. She just started out last week, and her boyfriend, who looks like a callboy by batch '97 concensus, is usually there to support her, not actually joining in. Hmmmm, interesting, but it doesn't help me yet. So what to do?

The confrontation is growing nearer and nearer if this goes on, me and her in just one room with lots of weights lying around. Worst case scenario is that if we did talk, then didn't work, she's gonna scream and throw heavy things at me while her callboy boyfriend pitches in. How do I know he'll help out? Because I was once like that, years ago, and even now it causes me pain just remembering her using me like a toy...

So, temporary plans include the silent treatment, avoiding all chances that we'd confront eash other and generally try not to think bad thoughts at her...which can be pretty hard, I tell ya. This will have to do while I try to think of something...

Damn this province for its small small world!!!

State of Mind: Utter Frenzy
Song of the day: Since I Left You by The Avalanches
Now Reading: Prince Of The Blood by Raymond E. Feist
Now Looking For: A Solution to Impending Disaster!

Sunday, July 18, 2004

The Powers That Be...

If you have one superpower, what would it be? Nevermind how would you use it, all that "peace on earth" and other unattainable pieces of crap. As much as I wish for that though, I believe that in order for greater good to be understood, evil is necessary. Otherwise, how can we know happiness? But I digress...

As a comicbook afincionado during my high school years, I am somewhat acquianted with the various superpowers the world has to offer, from the fabulous to the weird and, sometimes, the overtly gross ( The Spleen comes to mind, as the only superhero who can actually nuke an entire building with his fart with pinpoint accuracy...)

There are lots of powers, pertaining mostly to the physical side of nature, meaning super strength, speed, flight, invulnurabilities and other what-have-you's. Mental powers comes second, from telekinises, telepathy, mind control and things that generally make your head swim. This is just based on the western side though. In Japan, almost all powers come from inside, spiritually. From Naruto's chakra to Dragonball's Saiyan to Flame of Recca's powers, every jap fighting anime, and manga for that matter, is never an automatic talent, you have to build it up continously.

When I was I kid, Wolverine of the X-men was my hero. I mean, was there any cooler hero then him? Adamantium skeleton, regeneration, battle prowess, this guy can kick everyone's ass. Then I found out that lots of kids also look up to him, so I decided to change him. Against the flow, so to speak. So it went, going from one superhero to the next. The Hulk? Sure, near high invulnurability and the brains of a scientist all packed into one. Nah. The Flash? Brains and speed? Speed and agility counts low in my book, so he's out, along with Spiderman. Batman doesn't have any superpowers, though I would like to have his money and brains, hehe.
All in all, after researching and comparing every single superpower I came across, I found the ONE power to RULE them all. It comes from a manga/anime series titled Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, and the big boss, the last enemy Jojo faced, can make time stop. Whoa, now would that be a cool power? Hmmm, I'm late, let's make time stop. OMG, my I need to review before the exam starts...time stop. Arrrgh, need money!What the... diamonds on display? Time stop! Hehehe...

Seriously, after watching that series, the concensus of the group that was with me( comicbook experts all ) was in rare form of awe. Imagine before that they would bicker every single day on who can trounce who to the other side of the universe when finally their debate was answered by a single scene. Sheesh...

For me Dias ( the head honcho's name in the series ) takes my vote as having the most bad assed power in the known comicbook/manga/anime/cartoon universe. 'Nuff said.
On other stuff, Gameday was a little slow since of the bad weather these days. No more section wars I think, since Team Cattleya lost two of its starting lineup, Earl ( studying law at San Beda ) and Yams ( now working in Laguna ). So the series is still stuck at 3-2, Team Anthurium leading. Ah well...

Oh yeah, even after all that researching, Batman still rocks.

State of Mind: Superhero Nonsense
Song of the Day: Universally Speaking by Red Hot Chili Peppers
Now Playing: Def Jam Vendetta, PS2
Gameday Stats: 13 rebounds, 3 assissts, 3 steals and 4 points

Friday, July 16, 2004

The Dead Rise Everyday

I'm one of the undead, or perhaps soon to be one. These past few days were a blur, ranging from sleep-deprived dementia to illusionary dreams of nightmarish proportions. I wake up everyday in a zombie like fashion, muttering profanities at the unfairness of the world, scream profusely at the shower for its ice cold tempreture, and then think bad insidous thoughts, mostly directed at my work.
My work, while it does pay a lot of loot, is making me stagger like a groggy boxer with too many blows to the head. I do admit that my workload is pretty standard for a Sales Manager, the utter boringness of it though is making me want to scream. There are even times that I wish I could quit the job and search for new horizons, but then again, I couldn't quit even if I wanted to. That's usually the problem with family businesses, everybody pitches in and once you're in, chances of you getting out comes in negative integers. I prayed for something new to come my way. Never knew it would be answered tenfold.
I knew there was a price to pay when I went party hearty with the Barkada last Saturday; indeed I think I remember something about Dad wanting me to do a project on Monday or whenever, but I guess it was too far back in my mind to comtemplate. I had to have fun, eh? Anyways, come Tuesday, or last Tuesday I should say, there was hell to pay, and more. Got lots of things to do or did this week, like fashioning out new office I.D.'s, checking out the new sentry alarm system, making sure the our transport vehicles are in good running condition, planning and arranging new tile displays etc etc etc. And on top of that, I still am responsible for my sales team!!! What a life!!! ARRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
So it was that I come home everyday, then sleep at the tender hours of 9 or even 8 in the evening and then wake up again for more drudgery. Today, Friday, more than half the things I need to do are done, thank God! I'm really looking forward for this Sunday, where at least I get to wake up late and vent off some steam at Sunday Gameday.
While my prayers for happenings to escape boredom did get answered, extra resposibilites are way, way too much. I should have phrased it more carefully. Memo to me: Praying in generalities can cause you pain.

All in all, this turned out to be a sucky week, and all I got from it is that my papers for China are all secure and ready to go. Next couple of weeks, we'll be back in Manila and will be having an interview with the Chinese Ambassador, to get our student visas. While it does it give cause for something to celebrate, I'm just too freakin' tired to do so.

God grant me a reprieve...

Specifically, a one week vacation in Manila, with no attached work nor responsibilites whatsoever, with enough money to burn.

State of Mind: Zombie-ish
Song of the Day: It's Been A While by Stained
Now Reading: A Darkness At Sethanon by Raymond E. Feist
Exhuastion Level: 80% and cooling down somewhat...

Monday, July 12, 2004

The Ex Files: Seeking Redemption

On this particular day, I'm reminded of my ex-girlfriend because of three things. The first was the fact the color of the day was orange ( her fave color, don't ask ), the sudden reemergance of sex books at National Bookstore ( her fave books, again please don't ask ) and the fact that I saw my former U.P. classmates, who were once close to me.

Flashback 4 years ago, sometime May, where I was forced to leave my home to escape the foul creature spawned from the netherworlds, who used to my one and only true love. Indeed she shed her luminous beauty ( this is debatable...) to reveal her true form, a bloated thing of scales and sharp teeth.

Hmmm, I seem to be getting a little off track here. Anyways, when I left the province for Manila, my reputation sunk so low that it can only be measured by a thermometer, and only during winter season. My ex, "She Who Is Not To Be Named", apparently spreaded sob stories that would make Nazis weep with pity, naming her victim and me as an "Psycho-killer who decapitates babies". One of those stories that came out was that I was working outside to actually pay her the money that I owe her. WTF?!!! It came as the biggest shock of my life, when I first learned of these sob stories. Then it grew worse at each telling, ranging from having a bastard child and even slaving off the Middle East. Hey, I could have expected it since my province is a small one, but it was still a shock...

Everybody hated me. Everybody loathed me. If I stayed there I would have been ostracized and scorned. Good thing I left in a hurry, and would spent the best years of my life in Manila ( although it was a rocky start ). So it was for the better part of the year that no one would even deign to speak to me except for my closest buddies who knew the real score. But I never did try to change the minds of the people, because I know that once they believe something they wish to believe and that is was ingrained in their minds for a long time would only make matters worse for me, hence the silent method. I did say one thing in my defense though, and it was "Believe what you will, but my concience is clean".

Two years passed. I got back, and everything came out of the open. She was tripped up and the truth was revealed. I was pardoned by my batch and who then turned the tables on my ex, may she rot in the yawning abyss of hell. I was not the type to tell stories about her though, seeing that it would just make me a sore winner. So I contended myself to curse her name once in while. Two things I thankful for her though. One is that because of her, I went to Manila and spent the most wonderful years there. Second is that she had made my life interesting, and hence I came out a little wiser and stronger.

The only thing I regretted is that my rep in U.P. is still more or less the same, with the truth slowly coming in like a slug on a steep hill. Every U.P. batchmate I came across were just "excrutiatingly polite", while some are short of spitting me but apprently not doing it, thinking its just a waste their time. There were some few though, that I count as good friends, but to this day, I wish everything would be cleared up. Ah well, if I can wait four years for redemption, then what's another four years, eh?

In any case, whatever happened to me, good and bad, made me what I am today, and that I believed that how bad things get, surviving it and, perhaps more importantly, accepting it, would only make you stronger.

Past is past. No regrets.

State of Mind: Reflective Mood
Song of the Day: Fuck It, I Don't Want You Back by Eamon
Now reading: Silverthorn by Raymond E. Feist
Now watching: Bill and Ted's Awesome Adventure

Sunday, July 11, 2004

Finding Peace For A Little While

Yesterday was one big revelation. Once the Cavite trip was done and we went back to Manila, I got off at Starbucks 6750 while my Dad went to the airport for the province, leaving me alone.

Never had I experienced a peace within myself. I was alone in the metropolis, and all my cares and woes are somewhere down south, tuck away for the time being. Not that I was in a hurry to take it out. It was as if my soul had been cleansed, and that alone is enough to trade for the tiredness I experienced in this trip. I don't what to say exactly, but suffice to say, I was happy.
I was like running to and fro the places, from Glorietta to Greenbelt ( to find books and cds ), from Recto to Mike's home ( I owe you one buddy! ) to RP Manila and finally Baywalk ( reunion ). Even if I was so tired, I was having fun, and those things such as worry, fear, depression and the like went all puff in that day.

But all good things must come to an end, else how can we classify them as good things? So it was that I boarded the plane back to the province, back to the all problems that life deals with me. But, after this special event, I can face anything with resolve.

Hmmm, in this case, I must do this at least every three months, just to get gas for myself, that everything can be all right once in a while.

And yeah, even if I was so tired, jet-lagged and lack of sleep even, I think I can do this again, just to get that "major high".

Now that's out of the way, we go back to more mundane topics. Sunday gameday was a little underpopulated, with only 15+ players, but I had a fun game. I even got a block from the tallest player in the game, Jose, who stands a head taller than me and was deep into the low post area. Shouts of Yao Ming vs. Ben Wallace from the onlookers produced some laughter and catcalls, but hey, defense is the best offense.

Mother is still bitchin about my papers, which by now I learned to take her nagging into a stride since I was so fired up from last night's shebang. What is it about adults who seem to dramatize everything. Why can't they learn to relax and be trusting?

Sometimes, I think all that drama is just an conduit for adults to just vent off steam from something totally unrelated to you. You were just indicted because you're the nearest one handy.

State of Mind: Resolve Powering Up
Song of the Day: Vindicated by Dashboard Confessional, Spiderman 2 Album Total Sleeping Time in Hours: 3 and a half
I Bought: Seven CD's ( 3 Pinikpikan albums, 1 & 2 Spiderman soundtracks, Acoustics Jams and M.Y.M.P ) and two books ( Wala Lang by Bud Tomas and Elder Gods by David Eddings )

Thursday, July 08, 2004

Chicken Eggs! Damn Chicken Eggs!!

Yep, this is what I get for counting my chickens before my eggs even hatch. Flashback to yesterday. There I was, dreamily thinking up plans on what to do in Manila. I sat there bemused and enchanted, since it was a three day of total freedom and abandon.
Then I learned it was not meant to be.

Yep, I'm still going to Manila, but I'm going to head directly to Cavite for some serious plant visits and talk over with the big nobs. My schedule is now destroyed. I'm arriving there Saturday morning, head straight for Cavite, then leave for Iloilo the next day on the earliest flight.


Apparently, the boss upstairs wanted me for some heavy duty work this coming Monday, and I try not to think about it too much. So I guess all my plans of shopping and all that crap are out of the window, and even the reunion my friends up there planned looks kinda bleak. Even going out with my cousin is now near high impossible. Most likely, I'll just breathe the polluted air of Manila, then leave with only just a lungful. Still...

Whatever the case may be, I going to be bone tired and crazy as hell to endure such a feat.

State of Mind: WTF?! Mode On and reaching critical mass
Song of the Day: Too angry to listen now...
Now Reading: Magician: Master by Raymond E. Feist
Approx. Total Hours going to spend in Manila: a little over 24 hours, damn

A Prayer....

When things get chippy, I listen to Hed Kandi, Miguel Migs and Beach Lounge music. For those days of hell, Nickelback, Linkin Park and Incubus is just right for the mood. Barry White and some acoustic tunes goes for days on being in love. But for those of despair, I listen to Coldplay. Their songs just packs the necessary "whoomp" to alleviate the spirits, all the while having that serious undertone for that geek angst.

So now I'm listening for the past hour to Coldplay's "Parachutes" album, which I'm chucking out now for some soulful music. Things are not going well, from the China Trip to tommorow's sojourn. My fate is already casts, I'll see where the dice falls. There is a chance I might not go to China due to a troublesome problem involving documents. Then there's the fact that my life is so royally screwed that I feel my ass has been cruelly knotted by some inept boy scout.

It all hangs down to tommorow I guess, and my faith in God, burning low these days, is my last and only hope. My faith has always been strong, but things change and I now sometimes feel that I need a big boost of some sort. Perhaps that reunion with the gang will rekindle that, that is if I get to go.

So I guess, I'll just offer a simple prayer to the Lord...

Lord God, I know I haven't been your best servant these days, in fact I feel I'm totally lost. I need you Lord, even if there are days I don't even greet you in the morning. That habit has gone due to my hectic schedule, but I guess Lord, I have no excuses. I am a sinner, and if this is to be my fate, I guess I would have to trust in You. It hurts so much Lord, the trials and obstacles, but then again you said that your path is not an easy path. What I am thankful for Lord, is that even if the road is narrow and cliffs steep, you are there beside me, even if I don't speak a word to you. And it sucks Lord, because I only acknowledge you when there is a need, and for that I am truly ashamed. I am too caught up with all the material things in life, forgetting that these material things come from You. I just wish Lord God that I possess enough faith to serve and trusts you, for in only those two things, my life would be fullfilled.

But it starts this time Lord, I will try to be what I was the last year ago, so full of zeal and passion and faith. I wish to become that man, whom today is but a shadow of himself. Help me Lord fullfil that dream, oh God. Keep me away from sin and temptation, and give me strenght and hope to endure the storm that passes everyday in my life.


State of Mind: Prayerful Mood
Song of the Day: By Your Side
Now Reading: The Bible
Contemplating On: Life and it's hardships

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

Making Manila Plans

The days seem to go forever. I mean, I can't wait to leave for Manila, even if it's just like for three days. I'm going to get a ticket the first flight in the morning, then leave the last flight on Monday. It's just two days to go and the anticipation is killing me.

My plan is to be on the lookout for really really cool ( yet affordable, seeing I'm in a tight budget here ) gadgets and books, most likely spending the bulk of my money on the latter. I'm thinking of getting a Gamecube for my room but it all depends on the money I have left on the last day. So priorities first, firstly books. Gotta get that book Miss Alto was telling me about, a new Eddings series. Then perhaps some new imported cds, particularly Miguel Migs, Hed Kandi and Fantastic Plastic Machine. Locally, I'm thinking of Cuidad and Sandwich, or even M.Y.M.P. For gadgets, perhaps an slim MP3 player or computer accessories, like the Radeon 9600 videocard. Then again, I'm leaving for China in just over a month from now so I just might hold off since the stuff there are so cheap you can buy a cow for a fart and a song, and not necessarily on that order.

In any case, I must not spend "much" on the first day, so I'll still have my money to go back home. I used to remember when I was still living in Manila that everytime I go home to the province my money is just enough for a taxi ride and the terminal fee ( i.e. 200 bucks ), but I plan to change, hopefully...

Anyways, can't wait to see the gang again. Hope we all have a smashing good time, considering one of our friends got back from her sojourn in U.A.E.

Lastly, on a weird note, I just found out that the doorman in the Spiderman 2, the theatre scene, is none other than Bruce Campbell, from the cult movie 80's flick, Army of Darkness. Damn when did get so big all of the sudden? I heard he's working on a new B-movie entitled Bubba and Ho-tep Mummy, or something like that, I'm not sure. Working with Sam Raimi ( who directed the Army of Darkness on the first place ) does have it's perks, making a cameo appearance in such a big hit movie.

That's it, Hamster logging out. Workday tommorow and gotta get up early.

State of Mind: Sleep Mode in 1 minute and counting...
Song of the Day: I do by Ten to Five
Now downloading: Samurai Champloo!
Maximum number of books planned to buy: 10! ( I hope to constrain myself inside the store, else I'll do the Hamster dance of joy of seeing all the books in place...)

Gunning for Gunbound

The huge beast of metal rises up the ridge, scouting expansively for enemies. Unluckily, it spotted me and set his turrets right into my sector. Calibrating his angle, he took a shot that boomed twice as loud as loudest thunder I have ever heard. In a blink of an eye, I saw the cannon shot caroomed towards me, and then over me, spewing up dirt by the truckload as it landed right behind me. It was my turn to shoot now, and this better be right, else I'm going to get screwed...

Memoirs of General McHamster, The Adiumroot Battle

I've been playing Gunbound for 5 days now, and I can say I'm totally addicted to the game. One thing, it's totally free. Second, you get to match your skills with the people around the world. I've been shooting Greeks ( Congrats for winning the Euro Cup, now you die!!! ), teamed up with Brasilians ( Mierda! Shoot the bastard! ), exhange salvos with the Spaniards ( This is for me and my country!!! ), traded insults with the French ( Your mother must have married an ogre to get someone like you! ) and etc etc etc.

The gameplay is simple, turnbased style. You get a mobile, point it at the enemy and shoot. Three things to bear in mind though: Angle of Shot, Strength of Fire and Wind Factor. Which makes engineers and mathematicians a horror to play against. I can just see them in their little cubicles, pencils in hand and doing sums ( Let's see...45 degrees angle times the strength of fire minus the wind factor would make the shot land exactly right here... )

It's actually more fun and relaxing than Ragnarok Online. Here, you just need to point and click and pray. Ragnarok on the other hand tend to make you a little stressful in the sense that you must get to the next level as soon as possible. Meanwhile Gunbound is nice for those days of blah, when you need to play with minumum amount of brain use.

Anyways, gaming aside, I'm going back to Manila this weekend!!! Yay!!!! Although it's only just for three days, it's better than nothing! Hmmm....but there is so much to do. I'll think about it when the day comes, don't want to hype myself up.

State of Mind: Game Mode On
Song of the Day: Are Going To Go My Way by Leeny Kravitz
Level in Gunbound: Double Wooden Hammer ( kinda in the lower mid )
Now proficient in: J.D. Mobile! ( Black Hole Technology!!! ) and the Armor Mobile ( Bomb This!!! )

Sunday, July 04, 2004

Bloody Games and Dinner Conversations

Games 4 and 5 in the Section Wars were brutal. Game 4 started and took a long time to finish, with referee being a tad high on the difficulty mode. Just a little touch would invoke a foul from the opposing team, and by the time the game ended, everyone was "foul-headed" by the stupid calls. Apparently, the ref wanted to have a little fun of his own and kinda rigged the game for his own pleasure. So game 4 turned out to be free throw shooting match, and we barely won the game by just 4 points.

Game 5 saw the change of referee, and everything suddenly became very fast-paced. We employed the fast break attack, with three of us ( Intsik, Rod and me ) going for rebounds while Maui and Bas dictated the speed. Team Cattelya was bewildered but held on, and it came down to the staying power of Syd, Yams and Mamel, with Jed going for the threes. Import Adrian ( one year lower, Team Cattleya batch 98 ) supported the boards. The last plays saw all players taking extra caution, with the score 28-27, Cattleya leading. The final play that won the game was a cut made by Mamel, took a foul and threw the ball into the hoop, foul counted! So the battle continues, with Anthurium still leading over the Cattleya 3-2...

Oh yeah, both games were brutal, both by physical deeds and the fact that everyone was so serious that the bystanders were actually asking if there was any bet involved, like a house or a car. To which we replied that nope, we just do this for fun and the stake of the true section champion. They just shook their heads, not understanding why. Ah well...

On the physical side though, everyone a little battered in some way or the other. Not that the fouls were on purpose, but this day seemed to flourish with aches and pains. Me, I got shouldered on the mouth resulting having blood flow from my gums, my teeth all looking as if I ate a raw chicken. And I fell down trice, resulting to having a slight sprain. Meanwhile, Bas got handchecked on the face, Mamel got his bruises in his arm etc. No wonder why everyone was asking on what's on stake...

After the game, I went malling alone. I enjoy going out, even if its just aimlessly looking around for nothing. Sunday post-gameday is my time to be alone and relax, since Mondays to Saturdays would be office time. I cherish the hours of just being on my own.

Then when I was ready to leave for home, I met up with friend/classmate from my HS days. Let's call her Dancing Queen ( hint hint! ). Anyways, we talked, helped her find a card for her Dad's birthday and ended having dinner together. Before you people start, I do not have any romantic inclinations okay? While I do like girls, this one is different, and to quote my friend "High school classmates are too overqualified to be girlfriends, and it's just too weird." Falling in love with a HS classmates is like akin to incest, just in our case of course. You can see how close we people are in highschool. Everyone knows everyone, both the bad and good sides.
So anyway, we got into talking about life and how it sucks, about work and how it sucks, about love and how it sucks. Well, for me, it does not really sucks on those three issues, only kinda, but hey, misery loves company. She used to be one of my best buds in HS, and though I'm sure she still is, but we rarely get to see each other and talk things and go out for movies and stuff. Now, being older means means responsibilities, and it was only by chance that we got together this night.

All in all, it was a good way to end the day, and having an intelligent conversation from someone close to you is a nice bonus.

State of Mind: Tired to the Bones
Song of the Day: Miss You by M.Y.M.P
Game 4 Stats: 2 points, 15 rebounds, 9 assists
Game 5 Stats: 2 points, 17 rebounds, 11 assists

Saturday, July 03, 2004

Being Dragooned, Beloved Customer and Just Acquintances

I woke up at the crack of dawn, took a very very cold bath and went out the house for my last day at the Jaro Branch. I expected to see more costumers since it's a Saturday, and have been preparing a plan to rearrange the store. I got to the gate when I was yanked back in like you in those old cartoon series ( wooden hook to the neck, exit stage left ).

It was my Dad, and apparently he dragooned me to go back to the main office to help out. There goes my plan. Ah well, at least it won't be boring...

Anyways, during the afternoon, disaster came in the form of two beings. One was a customer who was so makulit and wanted someone with a big position, namely me, to attend to her, not just any salesman out there. Fine, I said to myself, since we get these kinds of people once in a while. It turned out to be one of the most annoying experiences in my life. The "Beloved Customer", as I call her. I have lots of nicknames for my customers, from the "Plunging Lola" to "Hell on Wheels". Why I didn't write about them is perhaps the fact that after the day is done and gone, those things become as a short of a sideline issues. Perhaps one day I shall write about them...but I digress. Anyways, she just refuses to listen to any other suggestions. And she has to see the product to that she can approve on buying it. Doesn't she know hauling wooden doors back and forth from the bodega is one hell of an exercise? After all the hulabaloo, she agreed to buy the selected stuff and then went to haggling mode. Damn, that woman can haggle Zeus's Lightning Bolts away from him. Never thought I'd get a major relief once she's out of the door...

The second one came in the form of a chinita and God knows my eyeballs fall to the floor whenever I see one ( pun unintented ). She's kinda cute, and she came in looking for additional tiles and stuff. My salesgirls, bad as they are, set me up, in the form of asking for her number and telling the girl that the one who's asking for it was their boss, me. So now, I got her number in my hand, and for a moment thought of throwing away that piece of paper. Why? Cuz perhaps I thought it wouldn't be appropraite. What the hell, I thought and texted her asking for a pardon on my staff's behaviour. After a while we became in that grey area of uncertainity as "acquintances". Going on from there, I have absolutely no idea. Still, it's better than nothing right?

In any case, perhaps this will end up well...

State of Mind: Ready to Sleep
Song of the Day: Pardon Me by Incubus
Money made after selling to Beloved Costumer: 12,300 only! Damn!!!Next stage of plan: Text her about Friendster tommorow

Thursday, July 01, 2004

Away To The Hinterlands!

Working in the Jaro branch is totally different, somewhat akin to the difference of working in the city and working in the countryside. The people are more...uh...countrified for a lack of better term. Take for example the fact that you have to say "Sir" when talking to a customer, right? In Jaro, saying "Sir" tends to alienate the visitor ( wtf?! ) and make him uncomfortable, almost as if they don't like it. Hmmmm, at least they are good people, knowin their station and not abusing their rights as our customers.

Except when it comes for asking discounts.

Say what you want about the Jaro population, being good natured and all, but by God, they will haggle you to the last penny. I guess people do have to have bad habits.
Anyways, tommorow I be ther again to arrange our display of tiles, making them look more pleasing to the eye and thus move the costumers to but our products. Suddenly my job gets bigger every which way I turn...

Ah well, if it puts food ( and cool gadgets!! )into my my table, who am I to argue?

State of Mind: Sleep Mode in Ten Seconds
Song of the Day: Awit ng Saya by M.Y.M.P.
Now Reading: Magician: Apprentice by Raymond E. Feist
Times tried to haggle up costumers and lost miserably: 9 out of 9...sheesh...need more experience