Friday, May 28, 2004

Operation: Connecting People and Other Related Stuff

Okay, something's bugging my computer, inlight that I haven't updated in the last couple of days. If I remember, I was ranting the other day about how bored I am and there's nothing to do around here. That's not really the case actually; I just like to vend off steam once in while in fits of boredom ( though there are days that would make me scream and scream for variety and in exchage for silence. But I digress...

So, as I said my computer's been shot down and I'm here in my Dad's office writing. I think it's time for a major rehauling of my PC anyways, and luckily just in time for our big plan, Operation: Connecting People ( Insert Nokia Disclaimer Here ).

What's "Operation: Connecting People" you ask. Wala lang, it's just a plan to connect our PC's through a LAN-based inviroment in our home, enabling us to chat, play music and send files within the confines of our homes. And naturally to play games also!!! Ulterior motive galore!!! So what's with the fancy title? Nothing really, kinda like a politician naming a big project costing billions of pesos just so he can change his bathtub and sprinkler system. Whatever...

So this means I probably can't update my blog and read my mails in my PC for a couple of days or so, probably going online at Tuesday or Wednesday. In any case, there's still Dad's PC and the internet cafes...

Oh, last couple of days ago I held my very first meeting in the company, meaning me in front, alone with beads of sweat pouring down my face as my people watched. It was about the recent sales week that we had, and basically giving a run down on what happened and stuff. IN Front of the whole company. That means the accounting department, sales department, the Bodega Boyz etc. Lasted for just ten minutes though, and I can say it was kinda ok. The only weird transistion when I talk to people is the age group. During the years, I'm used to talking to the "younger generation", imparting my "knowledge and wisdom of the ages" ( whatever, take it as you will, hehehe...). Now I'm talking to men and women older then me and giving them orders, some of them half as twice as old as me. Creeps me out it does, though time will probably grind those feelings down. For now though, it always gives me chills in my spine...

Oh, having watched the Starwars: Clone Wars in Cartoon Network, I resolved to change my Warhammer 40k Space Marine Army from Salamaders to White Consuls. I like the Storm Troopers in the series, especially in the episode where an elite group infiltrated the city without back-up or stuff. The only thing that's bothering me is that white is so hard a color, to paint and to maintain. Hmmm, must find a way to paint white in a good way...


One weird thing happened last night. One "sister" of mine, who I like and starting to develop a crush on, has stopped calling me "Kuya". GASP!!! Can this be a sign? Should I make my move, even if I had resolved myself never to touch that issue again?!! I don't know. I don't really know. For now, I like her, and we talk on the phone regularly, but nothing is going on and I won't let it stray into the bounderies of hopeless fantasy. There were times though, that I wish...


Anyways, speaking of THAT, my best friend is trying to hitch me up with a blind date with this certain girl. I don't know her, but from what I gather, she's articulate, well-read, intelligent and into a lot of things ( not those things you green minded people!!! ). In any case, I said yes. Besides, what else is good to do in this place? Maybe she is as good as her "resume" tells me of her. Maybe she's the destined one. Maybe she's dreaded "blind-date" of hell. Maybe ... ah well, perhaps sparks will fly. Or rain crap from the heavens. I don't care. I'm like a wooden doll in this case. I'll just say this though, in the words of immortal men of the ages.



State of Mind: Working Mode
Song of the Day: Songs from the Buddha Bar Album
Now Reading: PC Gamer, E3 Special
Just Bought: Ghost In The Shell, DVD Special

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

Somewhere, Over The Rainbow...


I've been trying to find the right words to describe my day today, staring at my monitor screen for more than a hour. But nothing is so true but to tell it at it is.


I mean, I get up at the crack of dawn ( for all you cityfolk out there, for us provincianos it means around five thirty or so, BEFORE the sun rises, ok? Not seven or eight! ), drag my sorry ass to the bathroom, take a long cold shower where, after dressing and stuff, again drag my ass to work till five, then go home and find something else to do, which is either watch reruns on TV, read books or just play games on the consoles/PC.

What a life.

There has to be more in life to this, something...inspiring?motivating? or other crap that really actually works. I mean, yeah I get to do stuff like above, but do I want to do this everyday of my life? Even thinking of doing this for a year gives me the heebie jeebies. Everything is a distraction, I must find a way to be more...I dunno...

I guess what I'm trying to say is that something is missing in life right now, but for the love of Jesus H. Christ, I don't know what the hell it is. I'm like a zombie, just going to the motions of life just be acknowledge as alive. I'm technically alive, yes, but the inside is a void, empty and black.
The search for that elusive spectrum, the rainbow to fill the void, continues...

State of Mind: Philosophically Speaking...
Song of the Day: Nasaan by Nyoy Volante
Current Level in Lunar: SSS-Complete: Level Ten
Whereabouts in Lunar: SSS-Complete: Somewhere in the Port of Saith

Monday, May 24, 2004

Ad Aspera Ad Astra

I'm pretty pooped today because I'm in the process of cleaning up my room, which is taking me just too damn long for my comfort ( to the tune of 3 days and counting!). Right now, I'm taking measurements for my japanese style bed, looking for fixtures to compliment my stuff and trying out colors for my walls, although I just might leave it as plain boring white, since I'll be clogging up my room with shelves, books, posters and other what-nots. Anyways, some minor updates on what's been going on...

My mum got out of the operating room with a gallbladder stone the size of of marble, grinning happily. Don't whether it's the fact that her problem's been solved, or it's just the morphine talking. I'm guessing the latter. So right now she's cooped up in her hospital room doing nothing everyday except read magazines, watch TV and, when all else looks boring, sleep all day.
How I envy my mother.

On work, my job just got a little hectic since the the position I was talking about the last time got handed to me in a bloody silver platter. So now, my duties include the sales, PR stuff and purchasing. With the exception of sales, all these are in a lower level though, learning day by day how to do this things. So whenever there is an architect ( PR stuff ), I hover at the back listening to the chit chat. Or when there is new stock coming in ( purchasing ), I get to see the reports and try to make sense all the jargon. But mostly I'm stuck looking out for our sales persons and be polite to almost everybody. If I didn't know better, somewhere in my job description there lies the duties of a professional bootlicker( in fine print and in sub-subclauses, of course ). Ah well, as they say, Ad Aspera Ad Astra...from mud to the stars. If I need to do this stuff to make my dreams come through, might as well shut the mind off and just do it.

Doesn't stop me from hating it though.

Anyways, gym workout is doing hell to my body. I think my spine is creaking from all the exertion I've been doing. If this is the price of good health, then I might just die first before reaching it. Arrrgh...

The Mandarin language presents some pretty cool theories that I pondered on for days now, even taking off the pain off my mind. It's not yet finished though, but it deals mostly on history, the arts and the corellation of it all.

Oh, I've started playing again my PSOne. I miss the old RPG's, from Final Fantasy to Legend of Legaia to Star Ocean. It's great to see where good stuff came from, back in the days when all RPG's were linear and had excellent plot. Today's RPG's tend to break away from the form, which is sometimes a bad move itself. But if all turns out right, it has a chance to become an excellent game itself. But I digress...

Anyways, that's it for now as I have to sleep in Dad's room; Lord knows how much I loathe sleeping in his room. But I got no choice since he's all alone ( nervousness, diabetes and low blood pressure...get the picture? ) and asked me nicely. Ah well, I guess I don't have much of a choice now, do I?

State of Mind: Tired...
Song of the Day: Real by Plumb
Now Reading: Seige of Darkness by R.A. Salvatore
Now Playing: Lunar Complete, Silver Star Story

Sunday, May 23, 2004

Dr. Hamster

My mum woke up with pains at her waist and was promptly admitted to the hospital. An hour later or so, she was diagnosed with gall bladder stone and was to have an operation immediately, specifically the next day. So it was the whole I spent going back and forth the hospital, making at least 5 trips getting her stuff, arranging the papers, calling the doctors and, lastly, looking for spare blood. So it was I trudged back home weary and mind aflame because of the short tempers flying around, mostly from the direction of my dad, who is his usual nervous wreck self. Me, I got the drubbing the most, since for some reason, I'm very absentminded today, my head up in the clouds. The reason? I dunno, perhaps it's just Sunday sickness.

Anyways, her operation is at 7 in the morning, and I need to wake up early to be there for support. Dad and my brother are going after the operation, for former's nerve's sake. Then, when they are there, I'm going straight to the office to manage the business with my uncle, since my aunt will be there also with the boss. So tommorow, I'm going to be alone with a handful of customers and with little or no guidance.

Whoopee do...

At least my day was made in the gathering wee hours of morning as I helped my bestfriend's girlfriend. Helping people always gives me gas to go on, and I'm not talking about the gas that comes out of your butt. I don't know why I always try to help people, perhaps I guessing it's just my nature. It's not in my family's genes for sure, knowing them to be helpful just sometimes. For me it's like the extremes, going out of my way just to make someone feel better. Oh, my type of helping is not on the physical or even the monetary help, it's more of the listening type. I guess it's been that way since High School, I always listen very well. But let me clarify first. Listen, yes; understand, not all the time. It's not important to sometimes find the solution readily, the first part is to let it all out. In some of my "cases", sometimes just standing there and listening do more wonders than haggling for obscure solutions.

Perhaps that's why the TV hit series Frasier appeals to me. Wit, humor and making the world a little better is me. Listening is a virtue some can attain, with the patience needed for complete mastery. And of course, secrecy is also a part of the whole shebang, since your reputation as a 'listener' reflects on the number of things you know that they trust you with, and are bound to secrecy. I could have probably been a psychiatrist if there was no family business, and made millions. Then again, perhaps not.


So, anyone out there you just need someone to talk to, someone you need to just listen, then I'm your man. Not that I'm advertising or something, it's just a pure honest offer to someone in need. I'm here, ready and waiting to hear your story.

In the immortal words of Frasier: I'm listening.

State of Mind: Sunday ... Something?...Weirdness??
Song of the Day: Do I Need A Reason by D'Sound
Now Playing: Wild Arms 2, PSOne
Now Watching: Acoustica Concert by Wolfgang

Friday, May 21, 2004

Gaming Previews

I'm so in pain right now. I just finished gym and my knees and elbows all scream for mercy. I can't lift my arms all the way to the top of my head and somehow, can't seem to turn to the left side.

And this is supposed to be healthy?!!

Anyways, I'm back to playing Metal Gear Solid in PS One, just for the nostalgic reasons. MGS: Snake-Eater, part three of the series, is due sometime October latest. MGS:Sons of Liberty sucked grass, disappointing lots of fans by introducing boy toy Raiden. Goddamn idiotic hero if you ask me. Seeing the preview of MGS 3 restored my faith though, to Hideo Kojima, the director and creator of the series.

For those who are unenlightened, Metal Gear is an action/stealth game, tracing it's roots to consoles as old as the Nintendo Family Computer ( must get me one of these for my collection ). You control Solid Snake, one man against an entire army. How can you possibly survive? Stealth is the key, and therein lies the beauty of it. Most action games give you a gun and then you start blasting hordes of enemies. MGS takes that perspective to realistic heights and produces one of the best game series of all time. As I said, stealth is the key, and there is no use barging into a bunch of enemies where you know will get you killed. What's so hype about the next MGS is that this time you get to play in a jungle. A fricken jungle! Meaning there will be no boundaries and your path will be non-linear, exploring more possiblities!! Wow, can't really wait for this one to come out. By far, in all the videogame heroes I've played, no one beats Solid Snake. Nuff' said.
Speaking of games, Warhammer 40k came out with a RTS system for the tabletop game, to be based in the PC. Watching the preview was pure eye candy. True to the system's form, it was bloody and brutal, yet came off with one of the best firefights I've ever seen!! Now, if they can also make one for fantasy...

That's it, I'm off to bed. Time for some shut eye and ease my poor muscles to hibernation.

State of Mind: Fuzzy Wuzzy Thoughts
Song of the Day: Just The Way You Are by Milky
Now Reading: These Days Are Just Packed by Bill Watson, Clavin and Hobbes
Looking for: Metal Gear Action Figure!!

Gaming Previews

I'm so in pain right now. I just finished gym and my knees and elbows all scream for mercy. I can't lift my arms all the way to the top of my head and somehow, can't seem to turn to the left side.

And this is supposed to be healthy?!!

Anyways, I'm back to playing Metal Gear Solid in PS One, just for the nostalgic reasons. MGS: Snake-Eater, part three of the series, is due sometime October latest. MGS:Sons of Liberty sucked grass, disappointing lots of fans by introducing boy toy Raiden. Goddamn idiotic hero if you ask me. Seeing the preview of MGS 3 restored my faith though, to Hideo Kojima, the director and creator of the series.

For those who are unenlightened, Metal Gear is an action/stealth game, tracing it's roots to consoles as old as the Nintendo Family Computer ( must get me one of these for my collection ). You control Solid Snake, one man against an entire army. How can you possibly survive? Stealth is the key, and therein lies the beauty of it. Most action games give you a gun and then you start blasting hordes of enemies. MGS takes that perspective to realistic heights and produces one of the best game series of all time. As I said, stealth is the key, and there is no use barging into a bunch of enemies where you know will get you killed. What's so hype about the next MGS is that this time you get to play in a jungle. A fricken jungle! Meaning there will be no boundaries and your path will be non-linear, exploring more possiblities!! Wow, can't really wait for this one to come out. By far, in all the videogame heroes I've played, no one beats Solid Snake. Nuff' said.
Speaking of games, Warhammer 40k came out with a RTS system for the tabletop game, to be based in the PC. Watching the preview was pure eye candy. True to the system's form, it was bloody and brutal, yet came off with one of the best firefights I've ever seen!! Now, if they can also make one for fantasy...

That's it, I'm off to bed. Time for some shut eye and ease my poor muscles to hibernation.

State of Mind: Fuzzy Wuzzy Thoughts
Song of the Day: Just The Way You Are by Milky
Now Reading: These Days Are Just Packed by Bill Watson, Clavin and Hobbes
Looking for: Metal Gear Action Figure!!

Saturday Blah 2

I just watched Shrek 2, and this goes down as one of the funniest animation I've seen. Went out with Car Babe ( now that's an even more obvious codename...), who for weeks have been planning to watch a movie with me but our just schedules didn't coincide. Actually called her up in the morning if she's like libre later. Anyways it was an excellent movie and nice twists and turns. Dreamworks studios has outdone themselves again, and this time adding more Grimm stuff then before. Can't remember when I last had fun watching a movie.

Saturday marks as our last day of Big Sale, and boy, there was a swarm of costumers waiting for us. Damn, I must have been standing and running for like 3 hours straight, because I think I heard my knees groan in relief when I finally stumbled to a chair. It was an exhausting day, and it would have been that so if I hadn't watched Shrek 2. At the very least, the movie cools down the nerves and such.

Saturday also marks as a night out day for the folks here in the province, and the malls are usually packed to the brim with Ilonggos, out to watch a movie also or party hearty at one of the restos outside. I don't usually go out on this day, since I really hate big mall crowds, even in Manila where Glorietta tends to attract big crowds when there's a sale. Saturdays mean for a route straight home, watch a home movie, read a book etc, just to escape the crowds. Not that I'm claustrophobic or something, but there's difference between mall crowds than, hmmm let's say, a rally or something. It's just me I guess...

My body still husts from the gym exercise, and were going to do it all over again on Monday. Hopefully, I'll recover enough to make it through the session.

State of Mind: Exhausted Yet Satisfied
Song of the Day: Plush by Stone Temple Pilots
Now Reading: Space Marine Codex by Games Workshop
Looking For: Shrek 2 Sountrack

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

The Path I Walk On...

Yi... Er... San... Si... Wo...

Gym's a bitch. My muscles hurt like wildfire, and I can barely lift up a barrel of KFC ( and that's like horror to me!!! ). Unused tendons in my arms stretched screechingly as I did two sets of dumbells, both sideways and upwards, begging for the torture to end. I once did gym like 6 or 7 years ago, and being older and more fatter now is more agonizing to experienced than it was before. The weird thing I can remember is that my feet don't hurt like my arms...probably because of all the walking I did in Manila and running to and fro in the basketball court, trying to get rebounds. least that turned out okay...

Liu... Qi... Ba... Jui... Shi...

A crash course in Mandarin is kinda like learning to be chinese in a short span of time. I remember thinking something that if you're like a mix breed, let's say half filipino half chinese, the thoughts you create in your head says which kind are you. Hence, if you think in chinese, then definately you're more chinese then filipino. I always believe that words are the core of your thought. Without words, there are no thoughts. In supposition, the thoughts you create will tell who you are. And the enviromental factor also plays into this. But I'm getting sidetracked. Our Lui Shin, the esteemed Victor Lo, is the principal of a chinese school here in the province. I always believed there are two kinds of chinese; the happy-go-lucky ones and the tradionalists. Thankfully, Mr. Lo seemed to be the happy type.

Shi Yi... Shi Er... Shi San... Shi Si... Shi Wo...

A friend came down the office just this morning, asking for help and advice. His problem stems from the fact that he's gonna work here and not go back to Manila to work for his family, since his girlfriend and friends is here. There in Manila, he's well taken care of, has a nice fat allowance and a car. Set for life you could say. But he chooses to be here, because he's not happy there. Sounds familiar? It's basically almost the same problem as me, choosing which path to take, although with little differences. After college, I spent into a lot of thinking on where I'm headed. I could work in Manila, be with my friends and be happy with what I have. Or I could go back, wallow in family's riches, be taken care of... but not being happy. Oh, I'm happy once in a while but I guess there's little fulfillment for me here. I debated over that in my head for a long time; if my head were to opened, it would look like a warzone. In the end, I choose to sacrifice what I have and and share my talents to my family. And it's hard. Damn hard. Knowing that you're going to be miserable for most of the days tend to dampen the spirits, but it's the way life is I guess. Time to give something back to my parents, which is actually the closing argument when the decision closed and truce was declared in my aching head...

Ta shi si yi... Ta shi er shi...Tamen shi a yi...

So it was I'm here, wasting away. But I do have a back up plan, wherein if I save enough cash I could put up my very own business, particularly a bar in GB3. So that's my goal, perhaps I can attain that in 5 to 8 years, depending on the situation. Which means I need to invest if I want to do it on a short time. But my hands are still shackled to the work. I could put up a bar there but I still have to report to the boss, who is my dad, and help in the company. I guess this is how family dynasties started...

Tamen shi xing jia po ren... tamen shi fei lu bin ren...

So I shared that to my buddy and he decided to think about it. One thing you gotta know about family dynasties is that the money is there, use it wisely, invest half and build a future. Sure, I might not be happy all the time, and I miss my barkada in Manila, but at least I could go there every month if I wanted to. That I guess nailed my coffin and peace was declared in my poor head. I guess some people would call it greed perhaps, but it's there just for me right? The only important thing to consider are the choices you make and how to use and live with it, "use" being a big part. While I sometimes wish I was free in the world, I am cynic enough to know that freedom doesn't feed you crap.

Bei... Nan... Dong... Xi...

That's probably what made me survived this long I guess. Being cynical tends to put things into perspective and being sarcastic adds flavor to it. One lesson I learned all through my life that keeps beating in my head is that "Life doesn't play fair. It alone knows the rules of the game".
I guess it's the same as to what happened to my best bud also. Long story but basically he doesn't want to study Law because of what it entails ( and partly he's afraid of becoming his own father ) but in the end he had no choice else he won't have any support in the family... and have any future in the future. Right now he's taking his exams in San Beda. What does this say?
Life dishes out a lot of things, but sometimes you have to take the bullets in order to survive. So true to me, my friend and my best bud.

State of Mind: Walking Back in Time...
Song of the Day: Ni Yao De Ai by Penny Dai
Now Reading: Starless Night by R.A. Salvatore
Crash Course Days in Chinese: 22 in Day 2

Monday, May 17, 2004

Short Office Updates

Last night we had a heavy rainstorm that was just one drop away from being called a typoon. I was doing my thing, surfing the net and enjoying the gloomy days of fresh downpour. When the lights went off at around 11pm, my screams of rage were literally drowned out by the buckets of water pouring outside, punctuated by claps of thunder so loud I thought the World War Three was happening already. Or perhaps the end has finally come. In any case, it was freezing last night.

Ah well, better sleep early, big day tommorow.

Tomorrow marks the day wherein I say goodbye to my old fatty self and welcome a ( hopefully ) well toned body. Me and brother enrolled in gym class, since we haven't got anything to do after work. Oh, we also enrolled in some chinese language courses, in preparation for out China Trip this coming September. Which means our work time will be cut by a third.


Anyways, I can't stay long, I'm doing this in the office. We're having a week long sale right now, so I'd better hop to it. Ciao!

State of Mind: Anticipation
Song of the Day: Burn by Usher
Now Reading: The Essential Calvin and Hobbes
Looking forward to: Sunday's Basketball Game! Cattleya vs. Anthurium!! w00t!!!

Sunday, May 16, 2004

Tired Day of Basketball

I'm pretty tired today. Just had a very rough game of basketball this afternoon. Lot's of players came, from at least 3 different batches. Anyways, I'll update tommorow...or perhaps not seeing it's my mother's birthday. Anyways, no energy left to think, mostly punching the keys at random and writing what goes on my head. That's it, I'm outta here...

State of Mind: Vewy Vewy Vewy Tywed ( the voice of Porky Pig...or a car tire with a small hole with air whining...)
Song of the Day: Nothing...the sound of balls bouncing is still ringing in my ears...
Now Reading...or attmepting to read: Orcs and Goblins Army Book
Energy Level: 10%...reaching critical level

Saturday, May 15, 2004

Lost Adrift on Saturday Night With A Kid and A Tiger For Company

There are times when I feel my loneliness crushing my soul; literally sending my spirit to the void of emptiness where it falls down forever in the pits of the desolate, the abyss of which it is silent and unforgiving. This is one of those times, where it is Saturday night and I'm here alone in my, my house because everyone from family to the hired help has gone out for the evening. I'm literally alone.

It's one of those times I can scream freely with no one to complain. And it's one of those times that I can't help but think what the hell I am doing. Then, after some thought and reconsidering the stupidity of just screaming the night away, I sat down and took comfort in my books. I never consider myself a scholar, as some people absurdly think when I talk endlessly about this book and it's ramifications of today's society. Bookish perhaps, but absolutely not a scholar. I leave that superlicious title to the people who hasn't seen the light of day and with no social life ( although the latter part is fast coming true to me! Damnation!! ).

Anyways, I took stock at my collection and let myself be awed by the sheer number of volumes I collected over the years. From historical novels to comic books, non-fiction drama to thrilling fiction, sci-fi space opera to hard core fantasy; I got all genres represented, with the possible exception of romance. I've got to draw the line somewhere...

But seriously, one of my favorite books of all time is not even a fantasy book, and being fantasy buff myself is kinda weird. Of all the books in my collections, no one can teach me more about life then the comic "Calvin and Hobbes" by Bill Watterson. The book is just so full of wisdom and pure honest double meanings ( hehehe ). Even as an adult you can appreciate the hidden meaning in each of the comic strips, how it affects or has affected your life somewhat. I can't really explain it really, reading it is an experience to behold.

To quote Calvin...
"Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success... ...Flat stretches of boring routine... ...And valleys of frustration and failure."

Reading Calvin and Hobbes has helped me from losing to solitude. At the very least, it always helps me contain my sanity by laughing at the world and the absolute absurdity of it.

To again quote Calvin...
"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us."

Nuff' said.

State of Mind: Thoughtful...
Song of the Day: I Wish I Was by Heather Headly
Now Reading: Calvin And Hobbes: It's A Magical World
Favorite C&H qoute: "You know how people are. They only recognize greatness when some authority confirms it."

Friday, May 14, 2004

Talking About My Armies... updates today as I'm busy with a party...Dad's party actually. Anyways, I was going to rave about my new fantasy army, Beast of Chaos, but I guess I just don't have the time or the energy to expound later. In any case, that gives me a total of four armies, two from fantasy and two also from 40k. Weirdly, I play the evil races in the former while in the latter, I go for the good guys. To wit, I always like Orcs and Goblins for their wacky style of warfare, as with Beastmen, although the "beastie boys" tend to go for strategy unlike the orcs who just charge the nearest enemy. Mostly, I like the psychological warfare on both armies. The Orcs have fanatics to give the enemy pause, while Beastmen tend to make the enemy lose his concentration by always staying away from the table corners, never knowing when the ambush will come.

In 40k, there is just one style I subscribe, which is the art of dealing death from afar. Imperial Guradsmen excel in this type of warfare, as my second army the Salamanders, which always favor the war of attrition.

Going bashy for fantasy, shooty for 40k. Hmmmm, I see a trend here...
In any case, if there's one common thing in all my armies is the fact that they come in numbers. Well, technically my Salamanders have the some pricey units but they can be off setted by the number of guns they carry, hehe.

Okay, I'm stopping here. Besides, this is just interesting to those who understand the game. For the unenlightened, then I suggest you go grab a burger or something. Nothing here except for wargaming geeks :-)

Gotta run, the guests are getting a little tipsy...


State of Mind: Hurry Hurry Hurry!!!
Song of the Day: It's Over by Vertical Horizon
Now Reading: Warhammer Fantasy Rulebook 6th Edition
Number of Guests in today's party: uh...20 plus? I lost count...

Thursday, May 13, 2004

Boob Tube Madness and Troy: Just Another Movie

I haven't updated yesterday because I was so damn lazy getting ass my off bed. My mind was totally blank, barely registering the TV stations as I cruised through the channels like a drugged-crazed monkey. There is just something...enthralling...about watching TV. Even if there's nothing good going on, people sift through the multitudes of shows in hopes of finding something remotely interesting ( which last about 10 seconds ) and then punching the remote control again to look for something better. So it was that case last night, looking like a fat zombie ( oxymoron if I ever saw one, since zombie usually are thin...), lucidly staring at the boob tube.

This is me, with my life wasting away uselessly...

Anyways, speaking of which, I just watched Troy, where almost every other scene we see Brad Pitt just standing there flexing his muscles and looking for all the world the perfect warrior. No big rants on this one, but no big raves either except for the cool fight between Hector ( Eric Bana, who played him flawlessly ) and Achilles ( Brad Pitt ), duking it out one on one. Orlando Bloom played Paris just well, no big raves either. everthing about this movie is just so-so with some really excellent choreography and battle scenes. Honestly, I yawned through some parts.
The movies strayed from the book form, which would have been a bad idea if they were going for an epic. Apparently, the movie was made with the intention of just being a summer hit. It just could have been better, if they were going for the epic. Ah well...

I was just reading through my testimonials in friendster and they all have one common theme, namely "thanks for everything, you're the best kuya!!!". Damn. Why can't I get that kuya conotation out? Another case for my "Kuya Factor Theory"...

Today is Thursday, which is just three days away from Sunday, my rest day. I'm counting the days now subconciously, always dreaming of Sunday. Work is picking up though, what with lots of customers and architects going in and out buying stuff like there's no tommorow. That's probably because this month is usually the busiest, what with the balikbayans and OCW's going home for their yearly vacation. At least I have some cash, and that's the only thing I can think of as a good reason to work everyday.I'm a slave chained to the need of money with nothing else in his mind. Oh my God, I'm feel like I'm a yuppie.

Damnation. Totally.

State of Mind: Mind-Blank
Song of the Day: Slide by Goo Goo Dolls
Now reading: Orcs and Goblins Army Book by Games-Workshop
Looking forward to: Sunday! Duh!

Monday, May 10, 2004

Men and Women

Today is election day, and I got up early in the morning, put on some clothes and drove out to the center to vote only to find out my name's not on the list.


So I went back home and began arranging my room as this is probably the only day in the month that I have the free time to do so. Lots of junk and useless stuff strewn in my room. Then I found out I need a much bigger space for my books then I originally planned for, perhaps extending the whole length of the wall instead of just half of it. Which would mean I need to put some furniture out, leaving me with a display case, my bed, the TV, the computer, a very small rectangular sofa and my seat of power, the "Black Bean Bag of Thinking".

I need a bigger room...

Just watched the ending of Survivor: All Stars. Although the ratings weren't what it used to be but the fact that everyone's favorite survivors came out to play lends a certain excitement. The final two, lover Rob and Amber, are just a sideline ( although a big one); what I liked about it is that everyone is angry with someone, which of course can satisfy anyone's morbid fantasy about human nature. Me, I watched it just for that sole reason alone, kinda like scientist deciphering the caveman's way of life. Very fun, if you ask me, hehe.

Just updated my MySpace account, which kinda cooler than friendster in terms of quality. Check out the gallery, some 10+ photos of me, my barkada and my sisters who call me Kuya. Damn that kuya factor. Speaking of which...

Me and Pinkgurl got into a debate about love just this evening. It was about the difference of falling in love and knowing you're in love. I myself agree with her that I fall in love at least once a month...hell, sometimes trice if I'm in Manila. The reason for our debate is that I fall for every girl that comes close to me, which is undeniably true. And it sucks I tell you. I can't seem to hold these feelings in check, sometimes it's so strong that I go bonkers and drool a lot like absent minded 70 year old war veteran. What can I say, I like girls. It's a normal reaction for a guy right?

The point in fact is that I just can't seem to get over it. Is it probably that I'm in love with love itself so much, like Pinkgurl said? Perhaps, but that just won't hold water with me. I know the difference of being in love and having just a fling.

Or maybe I just wasn't clear with what I feel. The right words can express volumes in the right times and this I think is where I went wrong. The female of the species tend to specify things to the point of obssession, whereas we men tend to let things slide and let them be. That perhaps is one the profound yet simple difference of men and women. Perhaps if I said it's "just a crush" then "having feelings for her", then me and Pinkgurl wouldn't have that debate ( although I'm sure she was just itching to say those things to me she wouldn't have said years ago when I used to court her ). To a woman, "a crush" is something that's just pure admiration; whereas the latter tend to play in a different field...although the former could go up this way.

See what I mean about the thinking of men and women?

Sometimes, it's a good idea to know these things. It saves up a lot of misunderstandings in the future, in any case. Just knowing what or how the sex thinks gives you a big advantage in the battlefield...figuratively speaking of course.

In any case, if I do fall in love ( from a man's view ), or shall I say have a crush ( for the ladies' view ) with someone, then I'll damn make sure that things would go in a smooth direction...
Which, of course, coupled with the "Kuya Factor", is impossible situation.

But sometimes, you gotta take risks...

State of Mind: Very Thoughtful
Song of the Day: Beautiful by Fantastic Plastic Machine
Now reading: The Legacy by R.A. Salvatore
Looking for: A japanese type floor bed!!!

What's With The Rain?/ The Service Continues!!!

Wheee!!! Rainy days are here again! I always smile during gloomy days, and today is no exception as I went to work with large overcast clouds hanging in the sky with a slight drizzle that annouces to the world that it's going to pour by the buckets. Which is kinda weird, considering that I always have a very sunny disposition as told by other people. Sure I guess, I laugh most of the time without a care in the world, but that's just a small thing compared to my simple joy of knowing that the rainy season is here to stay. So from now on, I'm more energetic, more amicable and more "myself" then me the other months before. It's just me I guess, but I just like the feeling of these particular kind of days. What does that say about me? I don't know, and I don't really care that much. Just to feel the slight moisture in your face, listen to the tap-tapping of the raindrops on the roof and feeling the cool breeze that surrounds you is enough to make me a contented man.


I won't talk about work, it's still boring as hell. I'm a man of action and thoughts; looking at the damn ceiling or table for 8 hours a day is enough to drive anyone nuts. Business is slow these days, as the rain pours people tend to stay at the comfort of their homes. Me, if I can only get out of the office, I'd be traipsing around Iloilo with only a jacket and silly grin at my face. Did I mention I really really like the rain?

After work though, we three elders of the YFC community talked about the future of the community and SFC, namely me as the oldest member ( 2nd provincial batch ); Mark, our revered spiritual counselor/leader and retired mission volunteer; and She, SFC full-time worker and one of the Siren Sisters. There used to be a lot of us, all leaders from just one cluster who singlehandedly looked after the province. We three are the probably the only ones left who are still active. Others are somewhat active, some were disillusioned, The talks were long and deals mostly on what will happen after YFC, namely breaking ground for the SFC so that our "aging flock", as brother Mark calls it, won't get lost when they get older. Lot's of plans and stuff, most likely I'll help in the planning ( like duh! of course I'm helping ) and probably move up as Province MV for Iloilo SFC while Mark will be our CFC coordinator as he's already married. That's just the tentative plan though, as I'm going to ask Dad in six months if I can become a MV for Singles. Why six months? That's what the doctor recommended, no surprises or serious decisions till the end of six months. That would be November I think, so I'm praying for this one, as it's really hard to battle your conscience knowing that your community needs your help. I guess that's what they call second nature to leaders.

I miss the old guys, especially our leader Mark. Even he came in late ( damn, I remember I was his DGL when he came in ), he was our focal point in our service ( those years in the seminary done him some real good ). Now that he's married, things are either going to be difficult or easier, depending on where he will live permantly, since he goes back to the mountainous hinterlands of Antique to stay for the weekend with his wife.

In any case, we really have to prepare for the next big thing, which would be Singles of course. Besides, after Youth, where will you go?

I guess this is up for God to decide whether this dream will come through or not. With prayers of course.

State of Mind: Possibilities are Endless
Song of the Day: Singing in the Rain by Jamie Cullum
Now reading: Merv Pumpkinhead, Agent of D.R.E.A.M. by Neil Gaiman
Hours spent talking: 6pm to 11pm...5 hours total

Sunday, May 09, 2004

Sports News

I'll make this very brief, since I just played basketball and my whole body is in pain right now.


The Pacqiao-Marquez fight came to a not-so-stunning conclusion of a draw, meaning there would be a rematch sometime July to September, if negotiations push through. Pacqiao was stunning in the first round, almost taking a 1st round victory, then began lagging on the 7th to the 11th round, then finished with a strong 12th. Marquez, to his credit, is one tough bastard, rolling with the punches and delivering vicious counterstrikes. In fact, I knew it would come to a draw before the fight ended, or a very slight victory in favor of Marquez. This boxer is one very hard customer, keeping his distance from the Pacman's strong left and using his reach as leverage. Very nice strategy, the Pacman couldn't get close enough to deliver the finishing blow. Ah well, in any case, both got their purses full, to the tune of 500,000 US dollars. We'll get 'em next time!

As I said, I just got back from basketball today, and whew it was fun. The weather started a little stormy, but it finally drizzled off enough for us to play ball. Got out-rebounded by a friggen soccer player, Bas, whose bamboo-like body enabled him to jump and run like a gazelle and take body checks like a rhino. I had a hard time trying to box him out myself so I have better position in getting rebounds. Damn, that friend of mine must be part monkey.

You wanna know about the weirdest thing that happened today? I played three straight games...and I only partially tired. It's like, whoa, where did I suddenly gain the stamina? It's only after a couple of hours I realized it came with a hefty price...

My body is pain right now. Somewhere in my left lower back there's this stabbing sensation that's annoying me for the past four hours, courtesy of the defense. My feet have offically declared a stike and consolidated by making me walk like a duck on drugs. You know you can move your feet a little right? Mine feels like a slab of iron; it just won't budge. I now know how rigor mortis feels like.

But, in any case, it was damn good fun, what with the High School Varsity team joining with us. I need to do this every week, just to get those extra pounds taken care of.

Must remember to do a more thorough stretching, not just the regulars ones...

State of Mind: Dull Ache
Song of the Day: Fragile by Sting
Now Reading: PSM, Metal Gear 3 issue
Game Stats: 8 Points, 14 rebounds and 7 assists

Friday, May 07, 2004

Eating Frenzy!

Whew...just got back from a feeding frenzy. Today is the annual fiesta of Pototan, and as fiestas go, this one is no different. Lots of grub and munchies to make the belly swell like a balloon.
The house we went to was the girlfriend of my best bud, and although we guys are the only guests from our batch, we still had fun. The other guys seem to hate travelling, as Pototan is like a hour away from the city, taking you into the hinterlands and ricefields.

I miss travelling to the outer regions. It's really very invigorating to feel the wind in your face as you run the breakneck speed of 120 kms per hour, breathing the pure fresh air you blithely know you won't be breathing any more in the next decade or so.


Anyways, fiestas are always a really cool event. Just make sure you fasted the night before to get the full benefit of the feeding frenzy. One of the best places to have a fiesta is in Jaro, since it's one of the biggest municipalities ( not sure about this one, since public opinion says it's a city...) and because most of the gang lives there, making it an orgy of gorging, going from house to house till your tummy literally bulges. I know mine did.


Manny Pacquio's fight is tommorow, and I'm sure as hell anticipating the big bash. Gotta sleep early since it's like 10 in the mornign here, whereas it's night time Saturday for the floks in the otherside of the globe. Go Philippines!!!

State of Mind: Chockful of Food, filled to the brim
Song of the Day: Shotgun by True Faith
Now Reading: Space Marines Codex by Games Workshop
Number of times went back to the table for helpings: 5 times

Thursday, May 06, 2004

Updates!!! Get Your Updates!!!!

Ohayo Gozaimasu!!!

Good Morning! Finally, some time of my own, even if it's at the crack of dawn. Well, not technically the crack of dawn, but it is for me at 8 in the morning.

Let's see what been happening from the time I got back...

Work is still the same boring crappy idiotic job it is, but it pays the bills, so I guess I can't do jack about it. I've been somewhat promoted to executive vice head of sales, which is just a fancy title to suggest I'm the new whipping boy for our head of sales. Boring as hell, but when the a mucho big time client comes in I get to listen and learn the ropes as I'll probably head the department in a couple of years or so. It's either that or get into the business of purchasing, which would mean that I get to rub hands with the nobs, our suppliers.

But knowing my dad, he'll give me the two positions just to test my mettle....sheesh...
In any case, I guess it allows me to prepare somewhat to the inevitability of taking over the business. Arrrgh...


Last night, me and a group of old leaders in the old community got together for a couple of glasses of vodka ( weird how things have this sudden deja vu moment...) to talk about the deteriorating problem in our cluster, since our group used to spearhead the whole of the island of Panay and produce lots of good capable leaders like me ( well, yeah, kapal I know, but I gotta have pride in that. After all these years I still have my principles and that's something right? ). In any case, we decided to go back to the old system of household, something akin to what Mike told me sometime ago. Perhaps a reemergence of the best cluster in West V?


One weird thing last night is that the group keep pushing me into this certain girl ( now that's a big case of deja vu, the baywalk scene last couple of months ago but this time in my province!) that I, well, honestly, like her as much as my very own sister. In any case, it just struck me as so funny and weird at the same time.

It's so hard to be an eligible bachelor. Whehehehehe...

I've halfway finished the unpacking of stuff, as I found out I need new shelves for the ton of books I bought back at last week's Manila soiree. So the stuff is still in limbo as we speak, looking for a place to land and chill.

It's been a tiring yet exciting week actually, what with the elections this coming Monday and the Pacquiao vs. Marquez bash this Sunday. Guess which more anticipated by the people, hehe.
Gotta run, Da' Boss is here.

Hamster logging out.

State of Mind: Flurry of Activity
Song of the Day: Six Play by George Benson
Now Reading: Eric by Terry Pratchett
Looking forward to: the weekend!!!